Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also people nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

The consequences of smoking affect not only the
smoker
but
also
the passive smokers around them. Some
people
argue that
this
activity should be banned in the public area. I strongly agree with
this
statement and
this
essay will discuss
this
argument more in detail. Some individuals enjoy smoking as one of the ways for them to release stress. Addiction is
also
a contributing factor to
this
lifestyle.
However
,
this
habit could cause serious health conditions for them especially if they're doing it in the long term.
This
is caused by some harmful chemical
that is
contained in the
cigarette
and inhaled straight into the lungs. A heavy
smoker
could damage their lungs and have a higher risk of serious illnesses
such
as respiratory infections and lung cancer.
Furthermore
, releasing
smoke
from a
cigarette
also
contributes negatively to the environment and persons at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
close distance.
Firstly
, a
cigarette
butt is not easy to be composted and could release bad chemicals to the soil if not disposed of properly.
In addition
, research proved that inhaling
cigarette
smoke
has a higher health risk compared to the person who
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smoking.
This
could be very concerning for particular individuals who are particularly sensitive to the
smoke
such
as babies, little children and elderly
people
. Everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
the right to breathe clean air
that is
free from pollution. Public areas should be a safe space for communities to enjoy their activities without risking their health. In conclusion,
cigarette
smoke
is proven to be harmful not only for the
smoker
but
also
for the passive
smoker
. With that being said, I strongly believe that providing a safe public space for everyone is very important to let
people
enjoy their common area without risking their lives.
Hence
, I agree that smoking in public spaces should be banned for the benefit of many
people
.
Submitted by a.wangsaatmaja on

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coherence cohesion
You have presented a clear introduction and conclusion that align with your argument, effectively framing your essay. However, to achieve a higher score, consider developing your paragraphs more fully by enriching them with a range of cohesive devices and clear topic sentences that signal the main idea at the beginning of each paragraph.
task achievement
Your response to the task is mostly complete, and you address each part of the prompt. You provide an opinion and support it throughout the essay. To enhance your score, ensure that your ideas are more comprehensive and developed by incorporating a greater variety of examples and explanations that directly support your argument, showing a clear progression from the introduction to the conclusion.
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