The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There is a controversial perspective heating a debate over the fact that the rate of overweight in young people has a tendency to go up 20% in the
last
ten years. Linking Words
This
essay is dedicated to the underlying roots, followed by some equivalent influences of Linking Words
this
phenomenon.
Without a shadow of a doubt, there are many justifications Linking Words
why
young people in Change preposition
for why
western
society tend to hike weight compared to the Capitalize word
Western
last
ten years. Linking Words
Linking Words
However
the one that shows Add a comma
However,
impression
is fast Correct article usage
an impression
food
. Use synonyms
Because with
the development of technological devices, the brands of fast Correct word choice
With
food
become more and more popular, especially to Use synonyms
children
, with the appelling taste through selling their product Use synonyms
in
online sale platforms . Change preposition
on
For example
, KFC, Lotte and Mcdonalds are successful in Linking Words
purchase
their Change the verb form
purchasing
food
through Use synonyms
website
which help them have a large of Add an article
a website
the website
loyalty
Replace the word
loyal
children
customers. Use synonyms
Hence
, the reason why western Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
is
likely to Change the verb form
are
overweight
is the common of fast Add a missing verb
be overweight
food
.
Use synonyms
While
the culprit of Linking Words
this
phenomenon is widely acknowledged, it is unfair if the impacts of Linking Words
this
are ignored. If young people abuse fast Linking Words
food
on a regular basis, it can lead to a wealth of harmful effects on their health. Because fast Use synonyms
food
contains a flood of protein which requires a long time in order to completely digest so Use synonyms
children
can suffer from Use synonyms
pessing
problems. Correct your spelling
pressing
passing
For instance
, overweight Linking Words
children
can have the rate of cancer which is higher than other normal Use synonyms
children
. So cancer is one of the remarkable alarming influences if Use synonyms
children
eat more and more fast Use synonyms
food
.
In conclusion, if Use synonyms
children
use a lot of fast Use synonyms
food
for a long time, it can trigger not only overweight but Use synonyms
also
serious Linking Words
disease
, especially cancer which can make the quality of their life go down.Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that these ideas are distinct from each other to avoid repetition.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs, but avoid overuse or incorrect use.
coherence cohesion
Provide clear and concise topic sentences that summarize the main idea of each paragraph, ensuring a stronger logical structure.
task achievement
Address both parts of the task by discussing causes and effects with equal development, and ensure that the response remains directly related to the prompt throughout.
task achievement
Develop ideas fully by providing deeper analysis and more detailed explanations of causes and effects, moving beyond stating the obvious.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points, ensuring that these examples clearly illustrate the arguments being made.
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