IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Large-scale festival attend tourists, bring economic benefits to an area, while taking away the local culture discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

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On the one hand, there are some pros of
large – scale
Correct your spelling
large–scale
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festivals
Use synonyms
. First of all, the city where
hold
Verb problem
apply
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the festival will be upgraded to a higher level. In fact, more
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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 about that area will be appeared on social media.
For example
Linking Words
, photographers or journalists come and record videos about the
festivals
Use synonyms
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 post
on
Correct pronoun usage
them on
show examples
 the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
festivals
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 give chances to children to do more outdoor activities. Nowadays, children tend to spend their time at home more than going outside so it’s an opportunity for them to enjoy the holiday with their family and friends.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Mid-Autumn
Correct article usage
the Mid-Autumn
show examples
 festival is a great time for children to play and watch “múa Lân”.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
massive – scale
Correct your spelling
massive–scale
show examples
festivals
Use synonyms
 have some cons. Some businesses are changing our culture to keep up with the
economy
Replace the word
economic
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 challenges. Indeed, tickets at some tourist attractions have been taken to
a higher prices
Correct the article-noun agreement
higher prices
a higher price
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. To give an example, the cost of entrance tickets to HoiAn increased very high in a short time.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many landscapes have been
damage
Wrong verb form
damaged
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 by tourists. Many people littering or drawing on walls, causes serious loss of aesthetics.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
government
Change noun form
government's
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 repair in
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
 ways
also
Linking Words
make
Change the verb form
makes
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 the scenery become worse.
For instance
Linking Words
, a lot of ancient house in HoiAn is full of graffiti and drawings,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 makes
this
Linking Words
 place
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 its antiquity. In conclusion, large-scale
festivals
Use synonyms
 help develop the economy of an area but have negative effects on our culture and landscapes.

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, making it difficult to understand the writer's main argument. Ensure that the essay opens with a clear thesis statement that outlines the advantages and disadvantages being discussed, and closes with a concise summary of the key points made in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Main points are mentioned but not well-developed or supported. Work on expanding each point with explanations or examples. Also, it's important to address both sides of the argument consistently. Make sure advantages and disadvantages are balanced and fully explored.
task achievement
The response drifts off-topic by discussing matters only tangentially related to the economic and cultural impacts of festivals. Focus on the prompt and make sure the essay remains relevant throughout.
task achievement
Ideas need to be more comprehensive and clearly articulated. Strive for clarity in presenting each point, and consider paragraphs that logically flow from one to the next without abrupt transitions.
task achievement
Evidence and examples are provided but need to be directly connected to the argument. Ensure that each example clearly illustrates the point being made, contributing to a stronger argument.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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