Some people believe that travelling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays there is a lot of discussions about travelling. For some, it can be usual to observe the voyage as something wasteful in terms of
time
and money
spent. In my opinion, I consider travelling as something extremely useful.
I am definitely sure that world travelling is one of the most profitable kinds of time
and money
spending. When anybody travels purposefully a lot of knowledge, such
as the language, business
ideas or business
bounds can be revealed. In other words
, a person can never able to succeed in a such
lucrative kind of activity as the international trade business
without travelling. On top of that, travelling gives not only business
opportunities but also
a feeling of confidence to one’s person. Consequently
, travelling should not be only a pleasure but also
an endeavour to accomplish some goals, like acquiring a language or making some business
profit.
Otherwise
, all kinds of journeys take a huge amount of money
expenses and time
spending. Due to
this
, a certain person could lose a good opportunity to achieve high results in the homeland. In other words
, an individual can lose the career or study possibilities because of the travel time
spent. For example
, while
one traveller spent several years and a bunch of money
, observing the world, his university mates created good careers and families,
and bought houses. Remove the comma
apply
That is
why some people prefer not to be distracted by unclear prospects of international trips but strive to achieve clear goals in their countries.
To sum up
, travelling can be observed by somebody as a time
and money
wasting but such
advantages as acquiring a language or finding good ideas and international partners outweigh it.Submitted by tarasovnn on
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introduction conclusion present
You need to provide a clearer introductory paragraph that outlines the discussion’s context. The introduction should present both sides of the argument and include a thesis statement, which lays out your own stance on the issue. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your opinion more explicitly.
logical structure
To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph naturally progresses from the previous one, and use linking words to connect your ideas more effectively within and between paragraphs. Aim for a logical flow in your argumentation, where each point is well-integrated into the overall essay structure.
supported main points
Develop your main points with more supporting details, explanations, and relevant examples. It is important to illustrate your ideas with concrete evidence or scenarios that demonstrate the points you are making.
complete response
Ensure that you address all parts of the task by discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. Each view should be explored to the same degree, and your opinion must be evident throughout the essay, not only in the conclusion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and expand on your ideas by explaining them comprehensively. Avoid making generalized statements without fully unpacking them. Aim for depth in your discussion and provide a balanced analysis of the topic.
relevant specific examples
You should incorporate more relevant specific examples to substantiate your arguments. The examples given should clearly relate to the points you are making and add weight to your argument.