You want to sell your laptop. You think a friend of yours might like to to buy it from you. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Explain why you are selling the laptop Discribe the laptop Suggest a date when your friend can come and see it
Hi Anum,
I am writing a request to look at my new computer at my home.
When I bought the Dell computer it was going well and I have not faced any problems with it.
Besides
this
, the latest version of Dell I am being used. However
, the illness of my child is worsening and the operation is suggested by the doctor. Although
, the money is needed by my child for a kidney transplant and the money is being arranged by me.
The specification of the laptop is I core7 which has a higher capacity of 64 GB RAM and you can install multiple applications. Correct word choice
However
Moreover
, I the heavy games are installed by me so my child can play their favourite sports. It is intensive image editing work and video editing. You can also
use it for work places
with heavy data and it cannot stuck during your office work.
Correct your spelling
workplaces
Therefore
, I also
want to sell my laptop as soon as possible because the doctor has recommended the operation of my son. I request you to please come on
Change preposition
apply
this
coming Saturday and check this
device personally at my home place. The current price of the laptop is 3 lack but I will give you a little discount on it. If you help me then
I will be grateful to you.
I am looking forward to hearing from you again.
Best Regards.Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on
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coherence cohesion
The letter should have a clear and logical structure. Organize your writing into paragraphs with each one covering a specific point. Begin with a suitable greeting, followed by an introduction of the topic, then the main body where you explain your reasons for selling, describe the laptop, and suggest a date to view it. Finally, end with an appropriate closing.
task achievement
To improve task response, ensure all parts of the prompt are fully addressed. Begin with a clear reason for the sale, followed by an accurate description of the laptop, including its condition, features, and any other relevant details. Finally, provide a specific, realistic date and time for your friend to view the laptop.
task achievement
Use a more personal and friendly tone throughout the letter. It will make the writing more suitable for a letter to a friend. Avoid overly formal language where it's not needed and ensure the language reflects the personal nature of the communication.
coherence cohesion
Check your use of tenses and articles, as there are multiple errors that impact the readability. Instead of using passive voice ('the heavy games are installed by me'), use the active voice ('I have installed heavy games'). Correct use of definite and indefinite articles ('a', 'an', 'the') is essential in English.
coherence cohesion
Proofread to correct grammatical errors and enhance clarity. The current text contains several mistakes that impede comprehension. For example, 'I am writing a request to look at my new computer at my home' could be revised to 'I am writing to invite you to look at my laptop at my home'.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite