The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The
graph
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
the number of
closures
and opening, from 2011 until 2018 from 1,000 until
teh
Correct your spelling
the
high number is 9,000. We start from 2011 the
point
for opening is 9,000 and go down until 4,000, but the
closures
point
is go
Change the verb form
is going
show examples
down and
litfle
Correct your spelling
little
bit grow from 6,500 until 6,000
then
grow up until 7,000
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
after the closure
line
grow up until 7,000 the opening after go down to 4,000 in 2012
start up
Add a hyphen
start-up
show examples
to 6,000 from 2012-2014. But the
closures
point
just
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
down very
dramastis
Correct your spelling
dramatic
from 7,000 in 2014 to 1,000 in 2015, in 2016 the closure
line
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
going up
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
5.000 and
be continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
until 2018 the
last
year,the
closures
line
is stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
stabile
Correct your spelling
stable
show examples
until the
last
graph
point
. But the openings in 2015 just go down until 4,000 again for 3 years
at
Capitalize word
At
show examples
the
and
Correct your spelling
end
show examples
of the
line
graph
the opening is not
consistens
Correct your spelling
consistent
in the first but in the
last
3
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
the
graph
line
is consistent
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
4,000 and the
last
year at 2018
is go
Change the verb form
is going
show examples
down again to 3,000 for the
last
stop
poin
Correct your spelling
point
.
Overal
Correct your spelling
Overall
show examples
the opening may be the most
consisten
Correct your spelling
consistent
because the
closures
go very
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
down in 2015 and
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
up again….
Submitted by igbalalfariezy on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, closures, point, line with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "go down" was used 6 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail landscape
  • net growth
  • market dynamics
  • economic indicators
  • fluctuations
  • pivotal
  • consumption patterns
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • downward/upward trend
  • stabilize
  • recession
  • boom
  • retail sector
  • closure rate
  • inauguration/opening rate
  • consumer market
  • saturate
  • commercial viability
  • profitability
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