IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation , such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

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There are different opinions regarding bad situations in
life
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,
while
Linking Words
 some
people
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 tolerate bad
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situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 in their
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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, other
people
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 never accept
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 and their constant work is a way to overcome unsatisfactory situations
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
In
Change preposition
On
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one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, some
people
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 think they are not able to change the
situation
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 of
life
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. They strongly believe that fate is inevitable.
Therefore
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, they never fight against their undesirable
life
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 flow; because they think misery and adversity
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 their share of
life
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. Even though,
this
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 group of humankind presume thanking God is essential in
this
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 bad
situation
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.
Psychologist
Fix the agreement mistake
Psychologists
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 assume them as disabled
people
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 who put the weight of their unsatisfactory on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fate
Change noun form
fate's
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 shoulders.
On the other hand
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, there are
people
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 who never accept bad situations because they trust
on
Change preposition
in
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 themselves as humankind who is equipped with intellectual abilities. Whenever they intend to use their mental wealth, it is ready to utilize for them.
As a result
Linking Words
, they can solve all of the
problems
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 in their
life
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. They take advantage of their mental and physical abilities to provide a satisfactory circumstance and
proud
Replace the word
pride
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 themselves as a capable person.
Besides
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, they ask a psychologist for consulting.
In addition
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, they take part in problem-solving workshops in order to be able to analyze their
problems
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 correctly. Avoiding cognition errors is possible by analyzing the problem correctly. After that, they learn how to choose the best solution.
To sum up
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, different
people
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 opine different views. Some accept their fate,
while
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 others refuse it. In my mind,
problem- solving
Correct your spelling
problem-solving
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 skill is necessary for all of the
people
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 who live in
this
Linking Words
 world which is full of
problems
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.
As a result
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, education administration should teach
this
Linking Words
 skill to all of the
people
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 and enable them to analyze their
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 correctly and teach them how to search for different solutions and
finding
Wrong verb form
find
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 the best solution among them. Solving
problems
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 and providing satisfactory
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situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 is delightful.

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task achievement
Your essay presents valid points, but the argument lacks depth in exploring both viewpoints thoroughly. To improve, consider providing a more balanced discussion between the perspectives, offering stronger examples from real-world scenarios that lend weight to both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure requires improvements for better flow and clarity. Introduction and conclusion are present but not effective in setting up and summarizing the argument respectively. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and employ a range of linking words to ensure that the sentences and paragraphs flow smoothly.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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