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Band 4

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation , such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
There are different opinions regarding bad situations in
life
,
while
 some
people
 tolerate bad
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, other
people
 never accept
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 and their constant work is a way to overcome unsatisfactory situations
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, some
people
 think they are not able to change the
situation
 of
life
. They strongly believe that fate is inevitable.
Therefore
, they never fight against their undesirable
life
 flow; because they think misery and adversity
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 their share of
life
. Even though,
this
 group of humankind presume thanking God is essential in
this
 bad
situation
.
Psychologist
Fix the agreement mistake
Psychologists
show examples
 assume them as disabled
people
 who put the weight of their unsatisfactory on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fate
Change noun form
fate's
show examples
 shoulders.
On the other hand
, there are
people
 who never accept bad situations because they trust
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 themselves as humankind who is equipped with intellectual abilities. Whenever they intend to use their mental wealth, it is ready to utilize for them.
As a result
, they can solve all of the
problems
 in their
life
. They take advantage of their mental and physical abilities to provide a satisfactory circumstance and
proud
Replace the word
pride
show examples
 themselves as a capable person.
Besides
, they ask a psychologist for consulting.
In addition
, they take part in problem-solving workshops in order to be able to analyze their
problems
 correctly. Avoiding cognition errors is possible by analyzing the problem correctly. After that, they learn how to choose the best solution.
To sum up
, different
people
 opine different views. Some accept their fate,
while
 others refuse it. In my mind,
problem- solving
Correct your spelling
problem-solving
show examples
 skill is necessary for all of the
people
 who live in
this
 world which is full of
problems
.
As a result
, education administration should teach
this
 skill to all of the
people
 and enable them to analyze their
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 correctly and teach them how to search for different solutions and
finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 the best solution among them. Solving
problems
 and providing satisfactory
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 is delightful.
Submitted by nasringoli.psycolohist on

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task achievement
Your essay presents valid points, but the argument lacks depth in exploring both viewpoints thoroughly. To improve, consider providing a more balanced discussion between the perspectives, offering stronger examples from real-world scenarios that lend weight to both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure requires improvements for better flow and clarity. Introduction and conclusion are present but not effective in setting up and summarizing the argument respectively. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and employ a range of linking words to ensure that the sentences and paragraphs flow smoothly.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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