IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

why people who leave school are more successful compare to those who complete their studies . give reason why they are successful? what is required to become successful?

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In
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 few
decades
Add a comma
decades,
show examples
its being
Wrong verb form
it has been
show examples
 seen that some folks stopped
to taken
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 their
acadamic carriculam
Correct your spelling
academic curriculum
 but
somewhow
Correct your spelling
somehow
 they become more successful
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to those who went to
school
Use synonyms
 regularly. In
this
Linking Words
 Essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 causes of
this
Linking Words
 matter. First of all, some people need
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
 experiences for they
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
 want to be confined. At the same time, they are very thirsty to get
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
 experiences which, they cannot get from academic
staduies
Correct your spelling
studies
stadiums
. Leaving
school
Use synonyms
 early
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
so
to
Correct word choice
as to
show examples
focus
Use synonyms
 on a passion or
business
Use synonyms
 venture that requires their full attention.
For example
Linking Words
; Bil Gates stopped his education
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
startting
Correct your spelling
start
enterpreneurship
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurship
 now he is one of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 famous businessman. Some individual leaves
school
Use synonyms
 early so that can fully
focus
Use synonyms
 on their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 flexibility allows them to innovate and take risks that can lead to jolly success.
Secondly
Linking Words
, It can
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great networking
as well as
Linking Words
 mentorship ability. Different Folks who early open a new
business
Use synonyms
 can easily
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
 a familiar atmosphere with the
business
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
, it can make a big
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
chain in a short amount of time
Change preposition
apply
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
because, they
entern
Correct your spelling
enter
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
business
Use synonyms
 they are well known about the ups and downs.
For instance
Linking Words
; lukas
walton
Change the capitalization
Walton
show examples
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 a
billioniar
Correct your spelling
billionaire
millionaire
 in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 early so that,
he
Correct word choice
so he
show examples
 had a great experience
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 his
business
Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
, he knows
whats
Correct your spelling
what
show examples
 his attempt for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 type of
experiments
Fix the agreement mistake
experiment
show examples
 can be a good move for any
youngstarts
Correct your spelling
youngsters
. In conclusion, pupils should go to
school
Use synonyms
 for general education to become successful its not
must
Correct article usage
a must
show examples
 but if anyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 basic education he or she can survive the
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
. In the
above
Add a comma
above,
show examples
 as i mentioned that by
focus
Use synonyms
 on their goals, creating social networks,
Use synonyms
focus
Verb problem
and focusing
show examples
 on
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 passion can
drives
Wrong verb form
drive
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 become
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
.

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure. Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct main idea supported by examples or explanations. Transitions between paragraphs should be smooth to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introductory paragraph did not clearly state the main points that would be discussed in the essay. Include a thesis statement that outlines the structure of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay sometimes strays from the topic and makes broad statements without providing specific, relevant examples to support the points made. Use clear examples that are directly related to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the conclusion summarizes the main points made in the essay and reflects back on the introduction, providing a clear end to the discussion.
task achievement
The response covers the topic but doesn't fully develop the argument. To enhance task achievement, expand on your ideas with a more detailed explanation and provide a more thorough analysis of the reasons behind the success of people who leave school compared to those who complete their education.
task achievement
Ideas presented in the essay are somewhat clear but need to be expressed more comprehensively. Refine your expression by using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to articulate your points more effectively while avoiding repetition.
task achievement
Specific examples provided are relevant but need to be expanded. Provide more detailed examples and ensure they directly support the argument being made. Avoid generic or vague statements by offering precise information that illustrates your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innovate
  • Resilience
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Real-world experience
  • Academic qualifications
  • Networking
  • Mentorship
  • Portfolio
  • Skill-building
  • Hands-on learning
  • Passion project
  • Creative thinking
  • Self-taught
  • Drive
  • Business venture
  • Conventional paths
  • Dynamic job market
  • Flexibility
  • Risks
  • Practical skills
What to do next:
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