why people who leave school are more successful compare to those who complete their studies . give reason why they are successful? what is required to become successful?

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In
last
Correct article usage
the last
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few
decades
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decades,
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its being
Wrong verb form
it has been
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seen that some folks stopped
to taken
Wrong verb form
taking
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their
acadamic carriculam
Correct your spelling
academic curriculum
but
somewhow
Correct your spelling
somehow
they become more successful
compare
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compared
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to those who went to
school
regularly. In
this
Essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will elaborate
the
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on the
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causes of
this
matter. First of all, some people need
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
experiences for they
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
want to be confined. At the same time, they are very thirsty to get
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
experiences which, they cannot get from academic
staduies
Correct your spelling
studies
stadiums
. Leaving
school
early
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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so
to
Correct word choice
as to
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focus
on a passion or
business
venture that requires their full attention.
For example
; Bil Gates stopped his education
for
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to
show examples
startting
Correct your spelling
start
enterpreneurship
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurship
now he is one of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
famous businessman. Some individual leaves
school
early so that can fully
focus
on their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
and
also
this
flexibility allows them to innovate and take risks that can lead to jolly success.
Secondly
, It can
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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great networking
as well as
mentorship ability. Different Folks who early open a new
business
can easily
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
a familiar atmosphere with the
business
also
, it can make a big
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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chain in a short amount of time
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apply
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
because, they
entern
Correct your spelling
enter
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
business
they are well known about the ups and downs.
For instance
; lukas
walton
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Walton
show examples
become
Wrong verb form
became
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a
billioniar
Correct your spelling
billionaire
millionaire
in
a
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an
show examples
early so that,
he
Correct word choice
so he
show examples
had a great experience
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
his
business
although
, he knows
whats
Correct your spelling
what
show examples
his attempt for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
.
However
,
this
type of
experiments
Fix the agreement mistake
experiment
show examples
can be a good move for any
youngstarts
Correct your spelling
youngsters
. In conclusion, pupils should go to
school
for general education to become successful its not
must
Correct article usage
a must
show examples
but if anyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
basic education he or she can survive the
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
. In the
above
Add a comma
above,
show examples
as i mentioned that by
focus
on their goals, creating social networks,
focus
Verb problem
and focusing
show examples
on
the
Change the word
their
show examples
passion can
drives
Wrong verb form
drive
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
become
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
.
Submitted by tanjimrafel6 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure. Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct main idea supported by examples or explanations. Transitions between paragraphs should be smooth to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introductory paragraph did not clearly state the main points that would be discussed in the essay. Include a thesis statement that outlines the structure of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay sometimes strays from the topic and makes broad statements without providing specific, relevant examples to support the points made. Use clear examples that are directly related to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the conclusion summarizes the main points made in the essay and reflects back on the introduction, providing a clear end to the discussion.
task achievement
The response covers the topic but doesn't fully develop the argument. To enhance task achievement, expand on your ideas with a more detailed explanation and provide a more thorough analysis of the reasons behind the success of people who leave school compared to those who complete their education.
task achievement
Ideas presented in the essay are somewhat clear but need to be expressed more comprehensively. Refine your expression by using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to articulate your points more effectively while avoiding repetition.
task achievement
Specific examples provided are relevant but need to be expanded. Provide more detailed examples and ensure they directly support the argument being made. Avoid generic or vague statements by offering precise information that illustrates your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innovate
  • Resilience
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Real-world experience
  • Academic qualifications
  • Networking
  • Mentorship
  • Portfolio
  • Skill-building
  • Hands-on learning
  • Passion project
  • Creative thinking
  • Self-taught
  • Drive
  • Business venture
  • Conventional paths
  • Dynamic job market
  • Flexibility
  • Risks
  • Practical skills
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