In some countries, many people choose to educate children at home by themselves instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some nations, A lot of people select to teach their
children
at
home
by themselves
instead
of sending them to
school
. In my opinion, I consider that people who teach their
children
by themselves at
home
can bring about more advantages for
children
compared to any issue it might bring. Despite the drawbacks below, I believe that benefits for
children
are extremely useful for their future.
firstly
, most
parents
who educate their
children
by themselves will save money. To clarify, if
parents
teach their
children
at
home
, they may save their money
instead
of bringing something for
school
as items for
children
’s
school
.
as
Capitalize word
As
show examples
a result,
children
should be taught by
parents
at
home
to save their money.
secondly
,
children
who are educated by
parents
at
home
, their
parents
would improve their special
skills
.To illustrate, when
children
learn at
home
from their
parents
their special
skills
will be known
parents
Change preposition
to parents
show examples
consequently
,
children
will improve their
skills
because their
parents
are the people who know how to grow their
skills
.
Hence
,
children
will be able to improve their special
skills
in a good way. Admittedly, there are some issues involved when
parents
send their
children
to
school
. One of the problems is that
children
would miss some life
skills
. One clear example,
children
who don’t go to
school
, might miss some special
skills
as communication
skills
and
then
they will not know how to communicate with other communities.
Thus
, honestly, that would yield to them in terrible ways in the future
Correct word choice
if
show examples
they didn’t mix with other
Society
Fix the agreement mistake
Societies
show examples
.
secondly
,
children
may make bad friends
while
they study at
school
.To make it clear, if
children
study at
school
they may Face bad friends and they sabotage their ideas or even affect their style of life in a bad way.
As a result
,
parents
have to teach their
children
at
home
to put them in a safe zone. In conclusion, I believe that teaching
children
at
home
by
parents
is more useful than sending them to
school
.
Submitted by asomm5563 on

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Task Response
To improve in Task Response, one should ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Your essay should have a clearer stance throughout, and each paragraph should contribute to this stance. All main ideas should be thoroughly developed, and the essay must be well-balanced, discussing both advantages and disadvantages evenly.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, the essay requires a logical organization of ideas with clear paragraphs, each with a central topic. Use a range of linking words effectively, such as 'moreover', 'however', and 'consequently' to connect ideas. Punctuation should be used accurately, and ideas should flow logically from one to the other.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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