The charts below show the distribution of world water and the use of water in three countries.

#show #distribution #world #water #three #countries

The given graphs,

illustares

Correct your spelling

illustrate

information about the amount of

water

consumed by Three different nations ( EGYPT, SAUDI ARABIA,

CANADA

Correct word choice

and CANADA

show examples

)in three different sectors

accordingly

Rephrase

apply

show examples

Agriculture, Domestic,

Industry

Correct word choice

and Industry

show examples

Overall

, the amount of salt

water

vast

Add an article

the vast

a vast

show examples

majority. In the pie charts, Fresh

water

is only 3% of All

water

Ground

Correct your spelling

Groundwater

show examples

water

is a fifth of all

water

whereas

, surface

water

contains 1

persent

Correct your spelling

per cent

respectively. Ice and Glaciers

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

just above

third

Correct article usage

the third

show examples

quarter. In the line graph, Agriculture consumes almost 80% in EGYPT and SAUDIA ARABIA

on the other hand

in CANADA they

uses

Change the verb form

use

show examples

only one in ten. But, for domestic

uses

Add a comma

uses,

show examples

all the folks

are remain

Change the verb form

remain

show examples

approximately the same around (12%, 12% and 10%) respectively. For

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Industry, Saudi Arabia and Egypt uses only 10, 8 proportions of their total

water

supplies

whereas

, In Canada the

uses

Fix the agreement mistake

use

show examples

in the

Correct your spelling

industry

industy

Correct your spelling

industry

they reached the peaked around, 80% which is around eight times bigger

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

these two nations,

Submitted by tanjimrafel6 on Mon Nov 27 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".

▼

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

155 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The charts below show the distribution of world water and the use of water in three countries.

Some people think that global environmental problems should be dealt with globally. Others think that they should be solved locally. What is your opinion?

Some college freshmen find that the courses they choose are not suitable for them. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve the problem?

Instead of requiring primary school students to do experiments themselves, schools should only alllow them to watch experiments demonstrated by teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?