Some people say that holding sport competitions cause many troubles, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Competition is
essential
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an essential
the essential
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need of society to release their emotion ,empathy and
well-bieng
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well-being
while
some opponents
belive
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believe
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organizing public events for
sport
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sports
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competetiors
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competitions
competitors
are more
non-
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apply
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affordable
efforts
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effort
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in
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to
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comaring
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compare
the
result
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results
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of these events .In my personal view ,
sport
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sports
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events for
compete
Replace the word
competitions
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like
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the olympic
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olympic
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Olympic
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games or
Fifa
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FIFA
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have many benefits for the
papulation
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population
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, I am going to explain my view.
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First
Fisrt
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First
of all, wholistic
sport
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sports
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games
are given
Wrong verb form
give
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a sense of motivation for people
for
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to
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Correct your spelling
enjoying
enjoing
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enjoy
of
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apply
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life ,
consider
Wrong verb form
considered
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a
Submitted by h.ebrahimi66 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure with a recognizable introduction, body, and conclusion. Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction that presents the topic and your thesis statement, body paragraphs that discuss each viewpoint with supporting reasons or examples, and a clear conclusion that summarizes your perspective and restates the thesis.
Task Achievement
You have not fully addressed the task, as the response does not discuss both views effectively nor does it appear to provide a well-supported opinion supported by relevant examples or reasons. Ensure that your essay fully responds to all parts of the task by discussing both viewpoints on holding sports competitions and providing a clear opinion with supporting reasons.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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