It is more important for the government to spend money on promoting the healthy lifestyle to prevent illness rather than on the treatment of people who are really ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #lifestyle #illness #treatment #people

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Many

people

Use synonyms

argue that the government play a fundamental role in preventing illness by using

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

budget to promote a healthy lifestyle rather than on the treatment of

people

Use synonyms

who are really ill. Personally, I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

view. On the one hand, it is necessary that the government should promote a healthy lifestyle for

people

Use synonyms

because the health of

people

Use synonyms

is the best value treasure of a nation.

Firstly

Linking Words

, in a society without illness, citizens can study and work better to develop the national economy.

Secondly

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

can save a lot of money on expensive medical treatment costs.

For instance

Linking Words

, in developed nations

such

Linking Words

as Japan the average life expectancy of the

people

Use synonyms

is very high because their health communication policies are very focused.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I believe that prevention is better than treatment.

By contrast

Linking Words

, if the government do not care about promoting, the

people

Use synonyms

will not have knowledge about health to protect themselves and it is easy for a pandemic to attack

this

Linking Words

country.

For example

Linking Words

, in covid-19 pandemic, if the governments had not communicated promptly, many

people

Use synonyms

would have died of the virus. In conclusion, promoting certainly has its benefits, and I think the governments will increasingly focus on it.

Submitted by weezel on Mon Nov 27 2023

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Task Achievement

Ensure that both sides of the argument are represented when discussing 'to what extent' you agree or disagree. This essay could benefit from examining more perspectives rather than agreeing 'completely' with just one viewpoint.

Coherence and Cohesion

Incorporate a wider range of linking words to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the readability and overall coherence of your essay.

Task Achievement

Use more specific examples and data to strengthen the arguments presented. While the essay makes some valid points, it currently reads more like a series of statements than a well-supported argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Avoid repetition of ideas and phrases to maintain the reader's interest and show a broader range of vocabulary and expression.

Task Achievement

Avoid overly simplistic statements and consider exploring the counterargument deeply to provide a more nuanced view.

Coherence and Cohesion

Check for subject-verb agreement and other basic grammatical errors to ensure the essay is linguistically accurate.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

204 words

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It is more important for the government to spend money on promoting the healthy lifestyle to prevent illness rather than on the treatment of people who are really ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

You recently completed a course and you borrowed a book from your teacher, which you couldn't return in time. You would like to return the book now. Write a lefter to your teacher and say What book was it How helpful was the book Explain why you couldn't return it in time.

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this a positive or negative development?

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it leads to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree