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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Self- practice :27/11 The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Self- practice :27/11 The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
line
 chart illustrates the number of foreign visitors to three
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of landscapes in Europe
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1987 to 2007.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of visitors
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
 over the period in all types of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
landscapes. The lines of
lakes
 and coast have the most significant growth,
in contrast
, the mountain
line
 is more stable than the other two. The number of
the
Change to a genitive case
the line of the lake
the line of the lakes
show examples
lakes
line
 was 10
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 in the first
year
 which was the lowest,
however
, it reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak in 2002
that
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the number surged to 75
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 and it became the highest of the three lines and dropped to 50 in the next
year
.
Compare
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
 with the
lakes
line
, the growth of
Correct article usage
the coast
show examples
coast
Correct your spelling
coastline
show examples
line
 did not as steep as
the
Change to a genitive case
the line of the lake
the line of the lakes
show examples
lakes
line
, it started at 40
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
,
after
Correct word choice
and after
show examples
 a dip in the second
year
, it steadily increased to 75
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 in 20 years.
In addition
, the mountains
line
 only
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a subtle increase between the first and the
last
year
, which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 20 and 35
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 in these two years.
Submitted by chaoweikevin on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words line, lakes, thousands, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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