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Band 4

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness

#happiness #life #factors
One of the core points in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life is
happiness
. Some individuals claim
that
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 is really crucial to find and define it. It is because all human beings have their own
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
 sense of
happiness
. The
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 answer to the second question
that
Add a missing verb
is that
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 there might be so many different factors,
such
 as money, education,health, marriage and so on. It can
up
Add a missing verb
be up
show examples
 to situations and characteristic features of people. On the one hand, nowadays, we live in the busiest era that we have not ever experienced before. Everyone has plenty of life issues. They frequently make
a new decisions
Correct the article-noun agreement
new decisions
a new decision
show examples
 and dream about
the
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apply
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future plans. Even, they sometimes cannot find
Correct article usage
the appropirate
show examples
appropirate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
 time to think and analyze
about
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apply
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the word
happiness
. Having
tiring
Correct article usage
a tiring
show examples
 work and education
schdule
Correct your spelling
schedule
 does not allow them to rest and sit and define
that
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apply
show examples
what is
the
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apply
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happiness
 for them. Meanwhile, maybe we cannot recognize it seriously but it would cause some other problems too in the future.
On the other hand
, the numbers and types of factors are not the same for every
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
. Some
claims
Fix the agreement mistake
claim
show examples
 that if they have enough money and
happy
Correct article usage
a happy
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 marriage they will be
th
Correct your spelling
the
 most cheerful person in the world.
However
, nothing is the same as they
seems
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seem
show examples
.
Firstly
, if we take a look at
according
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apply
show examples
to ages of the people, of course, the situation will change.
For most of
Change preposition
Most
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the
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apply
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adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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 define their own
happines
Correct your spelling
happiness
 in their education, getting
grreat
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great
 grades,finding
amazing
Correct article usage
an amazing
show examples
 partner etc. Another age category is middle-aged people, they started to search
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
corret
Correct your spelling
correct
 ways. They claim that living in the country in peace, having at least
normal-standar
Correct your spelling
normal-standard
 work and having good
healt
Correct your spelling
health
conition
Correct your spelling
condition
cognition
 is quite enough
being
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
 happy in
this
 life.
To sum up
, despite
of
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apply
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the facts that I mentioned above, if one person wants to define the sense of
happiness
,
firstly
, she/he
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to start to analyze his/her situations, age, possibilities, conditions and other things, properly. It is because not
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 the process like
this
, it will be, most probably,
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
.
Submitted by naghizadaozgul on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve your logical structure, ensure that your essay follows a clear and logical sequence. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas and employ linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are fundamental components of your essay, and they need to be clearly distinguishable from the body paragraphs. Your conclusion should also summarize the main points and restate the essay topic to give the reader a sense of closure.
Coherence & Cohesion
Back up your main points with supporting sentences that expand, explain, or exemplify the point. These should directly relate to the question and provide depth to the argument.
Task Achievement
Make sure you fully respond to all parts of the task. Your essay should cover all aspects of the question and give a clear answer or opinion on the topic.
Task Achievement
Work on developing clear and comprehensive ideas. Make sure each paragraph presents a single main idea that is easy to understand, and explain your ideas fully for the reader.
Task Achievement
Utilize relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. These examples should be directly related to the topic and should help to clarify and support your arguments.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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