For reducing the case of crimes the only best way is to increase the punishment. Do agree or disagree

Crimes
have always existed in the world, threatening and troubling people's lives.
Hence
, some argue that the only effective method to tackle
this
problem
is to make the punishment more severe. I disagree with
this
statement, and
this
essay will explain why.
To begin
with, enhancing consequences for lawbreakers will not cut down the rate of offences. Many criminals are obsessed with the idea of unlawful action itself, rather than the following negative impact.
Furthermore
, if the person is struggling with life circumstances participating in thieve or robbery to survive, it is essential to understand the root of the
problem
and to help these citizens.
For example
, in many less-developed countries, people have to steal food and money to feed their families.
Hence
, if the government provides education and financial support,
instead
of strengthening the punishment,
this
will be the aid for
this
problem
.
Furthermore
, boosting penalties does not decrease the number of
crimes
, because it does not educate individuals
providing
Wrong verb form
or provide
show examples
explanations and solutions.
Accordingly
, many criminals lack knowledge about morals, living standards and kindness, making it easier to hurt others.
Hence
, if the authorities provide free education for poor families and even for those who are locked in prison, they will learn about simple life standards, norms and habits.
For instance
, in Finland, in prisons, lectures and seminars are provided to educate people about general life concepts. In conclusion, even though, boosting the punishment might prevent some individuals from
crimes
, it will not solve the issue of it. Providing financial assistance and education for those who are in need will tackle the
problem
of
crimes
and decrease the rates.
Submitted by innakireeva0101 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be strengthened by more clearly stating the thesis and summarising the main points in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with specific, relevant examples. Your essay mentioned general scenarios, but more detailed illustrations will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure you fully address the task by presenting a clear position throughout your response. Your position, while present, needs to be maintained with consistency and further elaboration on your view in relation to the prompt.
task achievement
When developing your ideas, ensure they are comprehensive and thoroughly expressed. Expand on your reasons and viewpoints, adding more depth to your argument.
task achievement
Incorporate a variety of specific examples to support your ideas. Referring to real-life situations, statistics, or studies can add credibility to your arguments and help you achieve the task objectives more effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: