Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

#offenders #crimes #punishment #measures

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

modern world, it is true that

crimes

Use synonyms

have risen all over the world. There are many offenders committing

crimes

Use synonyms

once they are released from prison. The cause of

this

Linking Words

might be a lack of education during imprisonment or an inability to obtain employment, potentially leading to re-offending.

However

Linking Words

, the problems are solvable, and there is a potential solution to prevent the situation.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are numerous reasons why offenders commit

crimes

Use synonyms

once they are released from prison.

Due to

Linking Words

corporal punishment and uneducated when they are imprisoned, their mental behaviour changes, and for that reason, they commit offences again.

For example

Linking Words

, during their term time, they are punished brutally by prisoners, and uneducated properly by jailers, which causes them to lose their mental capability.

Additionally

Linking Words

, inability to obtain employment, proof of

this

Linking Words

is that to be able to work as a normal person

also

Linking Words

challenges them.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are some solutions to eliminate

this

Linking Words

problem very effectively.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the

government

Use synonyms

should implement education programs in jail to educate prisoners and give them an opportunity to be able to study

while

Linking Words

they are in prison, including providing official qualifications

such

Linking Words

as a diploma, or bachelor’s degree.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the

government

Use synonyms

should

also

Linking Words

support companies to help offenders with job pathways.

For instance

Linking Words

, the

government

Use synonyms

subsidises the company to employ ex-convicts to motivate companies.

To sum up

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

corporal punishment, and could not be able to work as normal individuals they committed

crimes

Use synonyms

again when they were discharged.

However

Linking Words

, providing education, or

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

pathway job support from the

government

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

game changing

Add a hyphen

game-changing

show examples

as to stop them from committing

crimes

Use synonyms

Submitted by sunnyrogle22 on Tue Nov 28 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the essay has a clear and logical structure throughout. While the main points are present, the flow between them can be improved by better transitioning and more explicit linking of ideas. Aim to guide the reader through your argumentation more smoothly.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present and perform their functions adequately; however, they could be enhanced by stating your main points more distinctly and summarising your arguments more concisely, especially in the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are supported, but the support could be strengthened by using a wider range of examples and by giving more detailed explanations. Aim to develop each point further with richer examples and more comprehensive analysis.

task achievement

Your response addresses the task adequately, covering both why offenders may re-offend and potential solutions to the problem. Ensure that every part of the question is fully answered to achieve a higher score.

task achievement

The ideas provided are clear, but their expression can be made more comprehensive with deeper elaboration and by connecting them directly back to the question throughout the essay.

task achievement

Relevant examples are given, but specificity could be enhanced. Offering more detailed examples and statistics, or citing real-world scenarios can make your argument more persuasive and your essay stronger.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

recidivism
reintegration
rehabilitation programs
economic hardship
employment opportunities
social stigma
discrimination
psychological issues
mental health problems
substance abuse
negative peer influence
incarceration
offenders
ex-convicts
recidivist
penal system
preventative measures
re-offend
criminal justice system
reintegration strategies

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
“Some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.”
Turning into an adult from a teenage requires some stages such as building a character or creating a perspectives. At this point there comes a question to the minds: whether having disagreement with their families should be considered as a necessary of maturing process for youngsters or this should be accepted negative thing and should be avoided. It can be easily stated that having a conflict is key element for teenages to their personal improvments since a disagreement may incentive young ones to think deeper as long as this procees manages professionally by their parents. Otherwise, a basic disagreement may lead to strain on familys’ relationship.
5
band
Fossil fuels are essential for producing electricity, powering industry and fuelling transportation. However, one day we will reach a point when all the world’s fossil fuels have been depleted. How can we conserve these resources? What are some alternatives to fossil fuels?
There is no denying the fact that fossil fuels are the backbone of our universe. This essay will discuss how these resources could be conserved, and suggest some alternatives.
8
band
Some people feel that children should be able to choose the subjects they are interested in while others feel they should study the basic require subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is often controversial whether children should study the subjects of their interests as some people believe that learning the basic subjects is significant for the improvement of their academic performances. I support the latter view, for the basic understanding of the broad fields makes it more achievable for students to solve complex problems in the future regardless of the fact that studying an area of individual taste raises more motivation for learning.
6.5
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Many children would spend a big portion of their day on their smartphones. This is because smartphones offer easy access to different types of entertainment without any supervision, while also providing children with new ways of learning through various educational platforms. My stance regarding this notion is this phenomenon can be considered positive progress, as long as children using smartphones receive proper moderation by their guardians.
8
band
Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The ongoing debate about whether university students should diversify their studies beyond their primary field or concentrate solely on their major is multifaceted. In my view, while a focused approach to the major subject is essential for depth of knowledge, the inclusion of additional subjects can significantly enrich a student’s educational experience and future professional capabilities.

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

“Some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.”

Fossil fuels are essential for producing electricity, powering industry and fuelling transportation. However, one day we will reach a point when all the world’s fossil fuels have been depleted. How can we conserve these resources? What are some alternatives to fossil fuels?

Some people feel that children should be able to choose the subjects they are interested in while others feel they should study the basic require subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.