In many counties, women and man are working full-time. It is therefore logical for women and men to share household tasks. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Presently, females and males are working for long hours. In order that, many people think it is fairly to share home tasks together. I strongly agree with
this
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opinion, as they can make a better relationship and have a better quality of
life
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.
To begin
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with, a family should share their tasks to have a happier
life
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. It means that, with fewer responsibilities, they can be more relaxed. The reason for
that is
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the less pressure of
life
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put on them.
For example
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, if they have a child they can spend more time with her/him, as they have an open mind to make a pleasant relationship.
Thus
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, their children can trust them easily. Not only are their parents understanding, but
also
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they are supportive.
Therefore
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, it is proven that, with a handful of tasks, they can be more energetic.
Moreover
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, people with more free time can have better performance in their workplaces. Meaning that they can develop their personality, which is really important for their individual
life
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.
For instance
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, if they have a problem in their mind, they will get therapy and deal with their difficulties.
As a result
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, they have a better chance to get a well-paid job in a well-organised company, which has a positive impact on their income, and they can make an enjoyable
life
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for themselves.
For example
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, people with a high salary and more free time, have more opportunities to travel to make unforgettable memories. In conclusion, I believe sharing homework between men and women is completely logical
due to
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the better level of
life
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and stronger communication.
Submitted by pooya.olad on

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coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow of your arguments by making sure each paragraph connects smoothly to the next. For instance, use more linking phrases and transition words.
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Provide more detailed examples and data where applicable to strengthen your argument. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
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Ensure that all your points clearly support your main argument. Some points, though relevant, could be better aligned with your thesis statement for a stronger response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in reinforcing your points and closing your argument effectively.
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Your main points are well-supported with examples, making your arguments more persuasive and easier to understand.
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The ideas presented are comprehensive and relevant to the topic, showing a good grasp of the subject matter.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • fairness
  • burden
  • workforce
  • traditional gender roles
  • fostering teamwork
  • mutual respect
  • balanced division
  • family well-being
  • mental health
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