The car is possibly the most convenient and popular way of getting from A to B. However, due to its impact on the environment and the risk it poses to pedestrians and motorists, governments should take urgent steps to reduce our dependency on this mode of transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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Nowadays, with the incessant innovation in the automobile sector resulting in the reduction of the manufacturing cost of a car, everyone can afford it. People find it a more reliable and easy way to commute to their offices without wasting time on public transport. Despite being convenient, some populace argue that
this
causes pollution and danger for 2 wheelers and pedestrians and government
should impose strict action to minimise the usage of cars. I strongly disagree with this
notion as this
will impact economically to the nation and subsequent paragraphs will further
show my reasons.
To begin
with, Less usage of cars will directly affect the economy of the nation which as a result
has to bear by the common man in the way of inflation and unemployment. Low demand in the automobile sector will impact the production of its part which eventually creates a job crisis. The automobile sector plays a crucial role in creating jobs and helps the ruling power to collect huge taxes from the buyers such
as road tax, service tax, HST, GST etc. The supply of oil also
adds more revenue to the government
's money which can be used in
public benefits. Change preposition
for
For instance
, an individual purchasing a car not only spends money once but also
spends on future needs of the car. Therefore
, making a hindrance in this
business is not going to benefit anyone.
To further
solidify my argument, minimising the number of private vehicles will impose pressure on the current government
to add more buses and trains during peak office hours and this
will also
create concern for women's safety at night. Having a private vehicle not only encourages freedom but also
safety for women while
travelling at night. For example
, incidents related to women travelling in public transport can be observed on a daily basis. Therefore
, government
should take some alternative options to reduce the accidents and pollution caused by vehicles.
In conclusion, It can deduced that imposing laws or regulations for less usage of private vehicles will negatively impact the nation and the ruling power should introduce new techniques to curb both the issues of pollution and accidents.Add an article
the government
Submitted by Gursharan910 on
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task achievement
Your essay attempts to address the topic, but your response partially diverges from the task prompt. You need to more directly address the degree to which you agree or disagree with the idea that governments should act to reduce car dependency due to environmental and safety concerns. The distinction between personal conviction and a balanced argument is crucial. Ideally, both sides should be discussed, with more emphasis on your stance backed by relevant examples and clear rationale.
coherence cohesion
The coherence and cohesion of your essay require attention. While there is an attempt to logically structure the essay, the development of ideas is somewhat erratic, and linking words are either overused or underdeveloped. Focus on creating clear, logical progressions between ideas, and ensure that paragraphs are distinct and centered around a single theme. Utilize a variety of cohesive devices and appropriate paragraphing to enhance the flow and clarity.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example