IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don’t want their children to read any entertainment books because they think it is wast of time. Do you agree or disagree?

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Book reading habits is one the best quality among children whether
academy
Replace the word
academic
show examples
books
Use synonyms
 or cartoons. A few
mother
Fix the agreement mistake
mothers
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 and
father
Fix the agreement mistake
fathers
show examples
 desire that their kids only read the educational-based on magazines at
anytime
Replace the word
any time
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of comic
novels
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 they think
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entertainment-based
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
novels
Use synonyms
 is not
worthy
Replace the word
worth
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 to read about
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement for the following reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, parents think their kids read only
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic
books
Use synonyms
 at all
Use synonyms
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 even in
free
Correct pronoun usage
their free
show examples
time
Use synonyms
too
Rephrase
apply
show examples
rather than comic
books
Use synonyms
 but the little ones should have more entertainment
time
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 whatever they want to
used
Change the verb
use
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. To be more precise,
studyinng
Correct your spelling
studying
 all
Use synonyms
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 is not a good thing
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the toddler's mind because
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Change the word
an
show examples
 early
Correct your spelling
age
agae
Add a comma
agae,
show examples
 they might
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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gotten depression and stress,
therefore
Linking Words
, they should need some free
time
Use synonyms
 to read cartoon-based on magazines to enjoy themselves.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent
survay
Correct your spelling
survey
 conducted by the NGO said that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 infants like to read more entertainment-based
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
novels
Use synonyms
 as compared to their educational syllabus
books
Use synonyms
 because they need more
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, reading comic
books
Use synonyms
 can obtain enormous creative
thaought
Correct your spelling
thought
through
 to toddlers who are more concerned
to read
Change preposition
about reading
show examples
 those in order to creative skills might be increased from childhood periods. When a kid read
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
comic
novels
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 assumes
any
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
best character
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
him
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
takes the best quality of the character
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 their life,
as a result
Linking Words
, the little ones might be the moral policy.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a toddler studies cartoon
books
Use synonyms
, she will obtain more good qualities of the characters with she knows good and bad behaviour.
Hence
Linking Words
, mother should
be allowed
Wrong verb form
allow
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their infants to read
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entertainment
books
Use synonyms
 too.
To conclude
Linking Words
, studying academic
books
Use synonyms
 at all
Use synonyms
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 brings more adverse
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 on children,
then
Linking Words
, fathers should give permission to their kids to read
comix
Correct your spelling
comic
show examples
novels
Use synonyms
 in their free periods in order to
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
get more knowledge from those magazines. So, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement in the above-mentioned details. I hope
this
Linking Words
 brings more benefits to them certainly.

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task response
While your essay presents a clear position throughout, your ideas are not fully developed. Aim to develop each paragraph with a clear topic sentence, followed by substantial explanation and examples. This will enhance the completeness of your argument, making it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more logically. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your ideas progress logically from one to the next, without repetition or lack of clarity. Transitions between paragraphs should be smooth and serve the purpose of guiding the reader through your argument.
What to do next:
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