Compared to the past, more people are now studying abroad because it is more convenient and cheaper than before. Do you think this is beneficial to the foreign student’s home country?

Nowadays, with
countries
connecting closer with each other, more and more
students
choose to study abroad,
whcich
Correct your spelling
which
leads to a discussion
that
Change preposition
about
show examples
whether the
phemomenon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
is beneficial to the student's home
country
. It depends on each
countries'
Change noun form
country's
show examples
conditions, which can be influenced by their population, their
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
and their policy. To most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries
, it does have some benefits. To explain
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a higher level,
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
abroad is a kind of national communication. Through those
students
who
studying
Change the form of the verb
study
show examples
abroad,
comparation
Correct your spelling
comparison
between different
countries
is able to be made, which can be beneficial to each
country
to learn more about each other. To explain
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the view of
individual
Add an article
the individual
an individual
show examples
, it is a
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
that
students
look for what they want and they can improve themselves. In
such
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
show examples
society like China, some
students
may not have the qualification to enter a university
that is
good enough but they have the ability to enter
a
Change the article
an
show examples
equally good university abroad, which can be a helpful way to stimulate their full potential.
However
, some people may argue that what if they do not come back to their mother
country
after they learn advanced knowledge, which can be a loss
foe
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
their home
country
. Just as I supposed, it depends on each
country
's condition. It may be
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
damage
Replace the word
damaged
show examples
if the
country
is poor and is developing
while
it may not count a lot if the
country
is developed and leads the newest technology in the world.
Under developing
Change preposition
Developing
show examples
countries
need
talents
Fix the agreement mistake
talent
show examples
to help them
getting
Change the form of the verb
get
show examples
stronger but developed
countries
need
talents
Fix the agreement mistake
talent
show examples
to communicate with other
countries
to learn about each other'
stength
Correct your spelling
strengths
parts.
To conclude
,
students
can experience different
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
and get different knowledge through studying abroad. If they choose to work for their home
countries
after they gain advanced knowledge, it can be absolutely beneficial,
while
the opposite if they do the opposite.
Submitted by asllchkied on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure with a recognizable introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas are not logically ordered, and transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be stronger to guide the reader.
task achievement
The task response is adequate but incomplete. While the essay addresses the question, the answers are not fully developed, and there are no specific examples to support the arguments. The points made are surface-level and lack depth. The benefits are discussed, but the potential drawbacks are not fully explored or explained.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • brain drain
  • knowledge transfer
  • cultural understanding
  • economic investments
  • international business
  • global exposure
  • networking
  • advanced knowledge
  • technical skills
  • foster tolerance
  • harmonious society
  • foreign investments
  • diplomatic relations
  • innovation
  • home country's development
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!