Compared to the past, more people are now studying abroad because it is more convenient and cheaper than before. Do you think this is beneficial to the foreign student’s home country?
Nowadays, with
countries
connecting closer with each other, more and more students
choose to study abroad, whcich
leads to a discussion Correct your spelling
which
that
whether the Change preposition
about
phemomenon
is beneficial to the student's home Correct your spelling
phenomenon
country
. It depends on each countries'
conditions, which can be influenced by their population, their Change noun form
country's
economic
and their policy. To most Replace the word
economy
of
Change preposition
apply
countries
, it does have some benefits.
To explain in
a higher level, Change preposition
at
studing
abroad is a kind of national communication. Through those Correct your spelling
studying
students
who studying
abroad, Change the form of the verb
study
comparation
between different Correct your spelling
comparison
countries
is able to be made, which can be beneficial to each country
to learn more about each other. To explain in
the view of Change preposition
apply
individual
, it is a Add an article
the individual
an individual
behavior
that Change the spelling
behaviour
students
look for what they want and they can improve themselves. In such
competitive
society like China, some Correct article usage
a competitive
students
may not have the qualification to enter a university that is
good enough but they have the ability to enter a
equally good university abroad, which can be a helpful way to stimulate their full potential.
Change the article
an
However
, some people may argue that what if they do not come back to their mother country
after they learn advanced knowledge, which can be a loss foe
their home Correct your spelling
for
country
. Just as I supposed, it depends on each country
's condition. It may be a
Remove the article
apply
damage
if the Replace the word
damaged
country
is poor and is developing while
it may not count a lot if the country
is developed and leads the newest technology in the world. Under developing
Change preposition
Developing
countries
need talents
to help them Fix the agreement mistake
talent
getting
stronger but developed Change the form of the verb
get
countries
need talents
to communicate with other Fix the agreement mistake
talent
countries
to learn about each other' stength
parts.
Correct your spelling
strengths
To conclude
, students
can experience different culture
and get different knowledge through studying abroad. If they choose to work for their home Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
countries
after they gain advanced knowledge, it can be absolutely beneficial, while
the opposite if they do the opposite.Submitted by asllchkied on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure with a recognizable introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas are not logically ordered, and transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be stronger to guide the reader.
task achievement
The task response is adequate but incomplete. While the essay addresses the question, the answers are not fully developed, and there are no specific examples to support the arguments. The points made are surface-level and lack depth. The benefits are discussed, but the potential drawbacks are not fully explored or explained.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.