Being selfish is considered a reason for job success? Give your opinion. Reasons with examples

The secret of being good at the job is to become a selfish person. I
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
disagree with
this
statement as to become
sucess
Correct your spelling
successful
, an employee
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good
teamwork
and
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
working
environment
.
Teamwork
is one of the keys to
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
successful and
this
is because by
overcome
Wrong verb form
overcoming
show examples
challenges, employees need to
work
in
teamwork
which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
the
overcome
Replace the word
overcoming
show examples
easier.
This
will not only
beneficial
Add a missing verb
be beneficial
show examples
for
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
but
also
for the employee, as by working together, it will help
people
to reach their
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
easier rather than working alone.
For example
, these days many companies
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
their workers to be able to
work
in
teamwork
conditions. Employers prefer their workers who can
work
together as it will help them to solve
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
easier
Replace the word
easily
show examples
.
Moreover
, in the requirement list, most companies stated that they expect their future employees to have
experinces
Correct your spelling
experience
experiences
in working with
team
Add an article
the team
a team
show examples
.
Good
Correct article usage
A good
show examples
working
environment
also
can help to boost someone's
performances
Fix the agreement mistake
performance
show examples
and
this
is because staff will be surrounded by
people
who are motivating and supportive.
This
will eventually help to boost their performance and eventually have
a great careers
Correct the article-noun agreement
a great career
great careers
show examples
.
Therefore
, to have that kind of
environment
where
people
are supporting each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
, being selfish is not one of
Correct article usage
the thing
show examples
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
that can guarantee that.
For example
, many organizations
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
keep promoting
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
working
environment
as it was found not only
help
Fix the infinitive
to help
show examples
to enhance their staff performances but
also
to reduce turnovers which can
benefits
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benefit
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the employer.
To conclude
,
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
selfish does not guarantee someone's success as mostly to gain
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
need to
work
with their colleagues and have good working conditions where
people
are supportive.
Therefore
, a selfish person rarely
achieve
Change the verb form
achieves
show examples
that good achievement.
Submitted by lavenia34808 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure the introduction and conclusion clearly state your opinion and summarise the main points effectively. The introduction in your essay did not make your opinion clear at the start, and the conclusion did not effectively summarise the main points.
supported main points
Develop main points more fully with detailed examples and explanations. The argument could be strengthened with more specific and varied examples.
complete response
Always respond completely to the task by addressing all parts of the prompt. This response did not explore the concept of selfishness in depth or how it could potentially relate to job success, beyond general statements.
logical structure
Work on creating a more logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. Utilise a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to enhance the essay's coherence. This essay has a logical progression but could benefit from better transitions and structure.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ideas should be expressed more clearly and developed comprehensively. Aim for a balance between general statements and specific, illustrative content. The essay presents a viewpoint but needs more depth and development of ideas.
relevant specific examples
Use specific and relevant examples to support your points. The examples provided were too general and did not enhance the argument. More detailed and direct examples relating to job success and selfishness would improve the response.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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