Being selfish is considered a reason for job success? Give your opinion. Reasons with examples
The secret of being good at the job is to become a selfish person. I
totaly
disagree with Correct your spelling
totally
this
statement as to become sucess
, an employee Correct your spelling
successful
need
to have Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
a
good Remove the article
apply
teamwork
and good
working Correct article usage
a good
environment
.
Teamwork
is one of the keys to become
successful and Wrong verb form
becoming
this
is because by overcome
challenges, employees need to Wrong verb form
overcoming
work
in teamwork
which make
the Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
overcome
easier. Replace the word
overcoming
This
will not only beneficial
for Add a missing verb
be beneficial
company
but Add an article
the company
also
for the employee, as by working together, it will help people
to reach their goal
easier rather than working alone. Fix the agreement mistake
goals
For example
, these days many companies required
their workers to be able to Wrong verb form
require
work
in teamwork
conditions. Employers prefer their workers who can work
together as it will help them to solve problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
easier
. Replace the word
easily
Moreover
, in the requirement list, most companies stated that they expect their future employees to have experinces
in working with Correct your spelling
experience
experiences
team
.
Add an article
the team
a team
Good
working Correct article usage
A good
environment
also
can help to boost someone's performances
and Fix the agreement mistake
performance
this
is because staff will be surrounded by people
who are motivating and supportive. This
will eventually help to boost their performance and eventually have a great careers
. Correct the article-noun agreement
a great career
great careers
Therefore
, to have that kind of environment
where people
are supporting each others
, being selfish is not one of Change to a singular noun
other
Correct article usage
the thing
thing
that can guarantee that. Fix the agreement mistake
things
For example
, many organizations who
keep promoting Correct pronoun usage
apply
good
working Correct article usage
a good
environment
as it was found not only help
to enhance their staff performances but Fix the infinitive
to help
also
to reduce turnovers which can benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
for
the employer.
Change preposition
apply
To conclude
, become
selfish does not guarantee someone's success as mostly to gain Wrong verb form
becoming
that
Correct word choice
apply
people
need to work
with their colleagues and have good working conditions where people
are supportive. Therefore
, a selfish person rarely achieve
that good achievement.Change the verb form
achieves
Submitted by lavenia34808 on
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure the introduction and conclusion clearly state your opinion and summarise the main points effectively. The introduction in your essay did not make your opinion clear at the start, and the conclusion did not effectively summarise the main points.
supported main points
Develop main points more fully with detailed examples and explanations. The argument could be strengthened with more specific and varied examples.
complete response
Always respond completely to the task by addressing all parts of the prompt. This response did not explore the concept of selfishness in depth or how it could potentially relate to job success, beyond general statements.
logical structure
Work on creating a more logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. Utilise a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to enhance the essay's coherence. This essay has a logical progression but could benefit from better transitions and structure.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ideas should be expressed more clearly and developed comprehensively. Aim for a balance between general statements and specific, illustrative content. The essay presents a viewpoint but needs more depth and development of ideas.
relevant specific examples
Use specific and relevant examples to support your points. The examples provided were too general and did not enhance the argument. More detailed and direct examples relating to job success and selfishness would improve the response.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite