Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine however at best these methods are ineffective and at worst they may be dangerous. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

In the
last
few years, there have been many technological advances in almost all fields. The most evident ones can be found in the medical area, where
alternative
forms
of
medicines
Fix the agreement mistake
medicine
show examples
are gaining immense popularity.
However
, some people argue that these
alternative
forms
have detrimental
effects
on human health. I’m afraid I disagree with
this
view.
Further
, I believe that
alternative
treatments aren’t harmful, and these can cure diseases as they have good efficacy. To commence with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
alternative
forms
of
medicines
Fix the agreement mistake
medicine
show examples
such
as Ayurveda, Naturopathy, and Homeopathy are gaining huge popularity for their effective mode of treatment. These
forms
of
medicines
also
have fewer
side
effects
.
Moreover
, the
medicines
are usually made up of natural substances and are entirely safe to
be consumed
Wrong verb form
consume
show examples
. Even if the results are not produced immediately, the cures are safe and provide long-lasting relief from pain, illness, and ailments. These
forms
of
medicines
are even used for treating hereditary diseases like diabetes and arthritis.
Further
, acupuncture is another form of therapy that helps to relieve pain in the back or knees. These
alternative
methods rarely lead to another disease, thereby gaining an edge over conventional allopathic
medicines
.
Furthermore
, nowadays, people hesitate to consume allopathic medications
due to
their harmful
side
effects
.
Also
, these
medicines
cost a fortune for most people.
In contrast
, traditional
forms
of therapy are inexpensive and less invasive.
Moreover
,
alternative
methods of treatment cure a considerable number of diseases successfully.
For instance
, if an individual undergoes surgery in the allopathic method, the individual might recover quickly but with some
side
effects
. But, if the same individual opts for a
homeopathic
Change the spelling
homoeopathic
show examples
practice, the results will be much better and
effective
Correct quantifier usage
more effective
show examples
. Though modern
medicines
are handy during emergencies, it is undeniable that they have dangerous
side
effects
.
To sum up
, I believe that
alternative
forms
of
medicines
such
as Ayurveda, Homeopathy, etc., pose no significant risk factors to human health and are effective for specific medical issues.
Submitted by marina.parmenova on

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task achievement
Ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task, presenting a clear position throughout the response. While you maintained your position, more explicit consideration of the opposing viewpoint could enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on logically organizing your essay. Even though the essay has a clear progression of ideas, the transitions between points could be smoother. Connecting sentences would improve the flow and make the argument more compelling.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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