IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 graph illustrates the number of
question
Fix the agreement mistake
questions
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 that
tourist
Correct article usage
the tourist
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 information office received from 3 methods from January to
Jun
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
contacting
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contact
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 by person and telephone increased, the opposite could be seen in
email
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. In most of the observed period,
email
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 was the
least ways
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leastways
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 being used. Standing at 800,
telephone
Add an article
the telephone
a telephone
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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accounted for most of the
method
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methods
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 tourists used in January. After remaining unchanged over 30 years,
this
Linking Words
 number slightly increased and reached 1000 in
Jun
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.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 its starting point was the lowest, at 400, required through phoning increased moderately and surpassed
email
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 at 600 in February and in person at 800 in March and reached 1100 in
Jun
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, the highest. (nên có mệnh để giải thích cho the highest)
On the other hand
Linking Words
, after
hourvering
Correct your spelling
hovering
hoovering
 around 600 over 3 months, a significant
decreased
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decrease
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 was witnessed by
email
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 (meaning) in the second half of the observed period in
Jun
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 (2 trạng ngữ không khớp với
nhau
Correct your spelling
that
 gây confused cho người đọc) which was 200, the lowest( cài gì thấp nhâtt - cần có giải thích cụ thể , one-sixth the highest method.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words jun, email with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • number of inquiries
  • Tourist Information Office
  • six-month period
  • increased steadily
  • reached a peak
  • decreased slightly
  • increased dramatically
  • experienced a gradual decline
  • general trend
  • highest number
  • lowest number
  • significant increase
  • tourism interest
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