IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#enquiries #tourist #information #office #city #period #features #comparisons
This
 graph illustrates the number of
question
Fix the agreement mistake
questions
show examples
 that
tourist
Correct article usage
the tourist
show examples
 information office received from 3 methods from January to
Jun
.
Overall
,
while
contacting
Replace the word
contact
show examples
 by person and telephone increased, the opposite could be seen in
email
. In most of the observed period,
email
 was the
least ways
Correct your spelling
leastways
show examples
 being used. Standing at 800,
telephone
Add an article
the telephone
a telephone
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted for most of the
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
 tourists used in January. After remaining unchanged over 30 years,
this
 number slightly increased and reached 1000 in
Jun
.
Similarly
,
although
 its starting point was the lowest, at 400, required through phoning increased moderately and surpassed
email
 at 600 in February and in person at 800 in March and reached 1100 in
Jun
, the highest. (nên có mệnh để giải thích cho the highest)
On the other hand
, after
hourvering
Correct your spelling
hovering
hoovering
 around 600 over 3 months, a significant
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
 was witnessed by
email
 (meaning) in the second half of the observed period in
Jun
 (2 trạng ngữ không khớp với
nhau
Correct your spelling
that
 gây confused cho người đọc) which was 200, the lowest( cài gì thấp nhâtt - cần có giải thích cụ thể , one-sixth the highest method.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words jun, email with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • number of inquiries
  • Tourist Information Office
  • six-month period
  • increased steadily
  • reached a peak
  • decreased slightly
  • increased dramatically
  • experienced a gradual decline
  • general trend
  • highest number
  • lowest number
  • significant increase
  • tourism interest
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!