IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine.However,at best these methods are ineffective,and at worst they may be dangerous.To what extend do you agree with this statement?

#trend #alternative #forms #medicine #methods
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, different medicines are in trend and gaining massive popularity as they are effective. There are arguments that these methods are ineffective and are dangerous. In the minds of many
community
Change to a plural noun
communities
show examples
,
alternative
Use synonyms
 treatments are not harmful and they can cure diseases because they have good effectiveness.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, different forms of medication are gaining great popularity with an effective method of treatment.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,the antibiotic consists of natural substances and is harmless to the body. Naturally relieves pain when the result is not immediately visible.
Moreover
Linking Words
, nowadays, folk hesitate to consume allopathic medications
due to
Linking Words
 their harmful side
effects
Use synonyms
. For many, these drugs cost a lot.
In addition
Linking Words
,
alternative
Use synonyms
 treatment successfully treats many diseases. Acute medical problems,
such
Linking Words
 as accidental injury, often require more conventional methods.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
alternative
Use synonyms
 treatments have not been scientifically proven or confirmed, and treatment takes longer to complete. At the same time, society
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
 that herbal remedies from nature are not harmful to humans.
However
Linking Words
, they are subjected to cause harm. So,
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 and physicians need to be cognizant of the adverse
effects
Use synonyms
 of different medicines especially herbal medicines and the possibility of deleterious drug interaction to avoid
further
Linking Words
 health complications, even worse fatalities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is no convincing evidence of the use of
alternative
Use synonyms
 options, but these treatments have very good results.
In addition
Linking Words
, far from being dangerous, they often have few or no side
effects
Use synonyms
, so the worst outcome would be no change.
Also
Linking Words
, they do not cause side
effects
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, acupuncture and Ayurveda are safe to treat in these ways.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I believe that different forms of medicine
such
Linking Words
 as Ayurveda and acupuncture. I think that conventional prescription and
alternative
Use synonyms
 therapies can and should be together . The best situation would be for
alternative
Use synonyms
 therapies to be used to support and complement conventional
pharmaceutical
Fix the agreement mistake
pharmaceuticals
show examples
.
Submitted by marina.parmenova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, reflecting the core argument of the essay. The introduction lacked a clear thesis statement summarizing the writer's position, and the conclusion did not effectively summarize the main points or restate the writer’s viewpoint.
logical structure
Work on developing logical paragraphing and clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Each paragraph should contain a single, clear idea that is expanded upon with examples and explanations.
complete response
Provide clear and direct responses to the prompt, making sure that your essay directly addresses the question asked. The response drifted at times, which may confuse readers about your stance.
language use
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas. Consider revising sentences that are awkward or difficult to understand for greater clarity.
supported main points
Make sure to back up your arguments with relevant, concrete examples. While some examples were mentioned, they were not developed enough to be persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: