IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The popularity of tourism is increasing day by day. There are many benefits of tourism, but it also creates some problems. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Throughout the years, more and more people
are travelling
Verb problem
have travelled
show examples
 across the world to visit various
tourist
Use synonyms
 destinations, and
as a result
Linking Words
, the popularity of
tourism
Use synonyms
 keeps increasing over time. Despite the possibility that
tourism
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 can bring a whole
Use synonyms
country
Change noun form
country's
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 economy down as
Covid-19
Correct article usage
the Covid-19
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 outbreak
shown
Add a missing verb
has shown
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 in the past,
but
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the positive effects that
Use synonyms
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
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sector
Use synonyms
 brings to the
country
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's economy and local people
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the negative
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
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.
Tourism
Use synonyms
 is one of the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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fastest-growing
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sector
Change to a plural noun
sectors
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 that a
country
Use synonyms
 can rely on, it contributes to the
overall
Linking Words
 gross
domectic
Correct your spelling
domestic
 product (GDP). Other than the purpose of
tourism
Use synonyms
 can bring more money to the
country
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 and the local region during all transactions happening at
tourist
Use synonyms
 attractions, it
also
Linking Words
 brings prosperity to the local community. People who live
at
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on
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coastline
Add an article
the coastline
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 in Bali,
for instance
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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have various jobs related to
meet
Wrong verb form
meeting
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 tourists' needs
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that directly contribute to their pocket.
Therefore
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, their standard of living
also
Linking Words
 increases
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism
Use synonyms
. Back
then
Linking Words
 when the entire world had to
lockdown
Correct your spelling
lock down
show examples
due to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the Covid-19
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Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
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 outbreak, almost all
tourist
Use synonyms
 destinations in every
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
 were
also
Linking Words
shutting
Wrong verb form
shut
show examples
 down. The countries that used to rely on their
tourism
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
 had to experience some of the
worst-economic
Correct your spelling
worst economic
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situation
Change to a plural noun
situations
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 in the history of their
country
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, let alone if their main contributor to the GDP was
from
Change preposition
apply
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only
tourism
Use synonyms
. To give a clear example, Thailand was one of the most affected
Use synonyms
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 the decreasing number of visiting
Use synonyms
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 to their
tourist
Use synonyms
 attractions.
As a result
Linking Words
, the economy of Thailand
worsen
Wrong verb form
worsened
show examples
 during those years and it shaked an economic
turbulance
Correct your spelling
turbulence
 there. In conclusion,
tourism
Use synonyms
 can be one of the largest
contributor
Change to a plural noun
contributors
show examples
 to the GDP
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
a country
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. But like two-sided
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
coins,
Correct article usage
the Covid-19
show examples
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
 outbreak proved that
Use synonyms
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
show examples
sector
Use synonyms
 in any
country
Use synonyms
 in the world
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 affected by it and caused an economic
turbulance
Correct your spelling
turbulence
 because of the declining performance.

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logical structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should overview the topic, the body should present arguments with examples, and the conclusion should summarize your points.
logical structure
Be consistent with tenses and viewpoints. Avoid abrupt shifts that can confuse the reader. Transition words can help in maintaining the flow of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Check that the introduction and conclusion are clear and that they tie together. The conclusion should reflect the argument presented in the essay without introducing new information.
supported main points
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. This helps to reinforce your arguments and makes them more convincing.
complete response
To fully respond to the task, make sure you address all parts of the prompt. Discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of tourism equally to show a balanced argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop your ideas comprehensively with clarity. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the sentences within it support that idea.
relevant specific examples
Use examples that are detailed and relevant to the argument you are making. Broad or vague examples detract from the strength of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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