*Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences.* Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Nowadays,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many educational fields use
computers
and
technology
. Some
people
believe
that is
a good thing for humans,
while
others
concerned
Add a missing verb
are concerned
show examples
this
trend will bring some negative consequences.
Thisthis
Correct your spelling
Thus this
essay will reveal the discussion of both sides and I will give my opinion. On the one hand, in academic fields using
technology
indeed may bring some negative results.
Firstly
, some individuals rely on
technology
too much, which leads to a lack of abilities of independent thinking.
For instance
, more and more students use applications,
such
as Google Translate and ChatGPT, to finish their academic missions.
Secondly
, the online
information
is not reliable and accurate completely.
For example
, many online videos teach
people
how to prepare IELTS exam, but these "teachers" are not qualified by the IELTS Institute formally, so we don't know if the
information
they offer is accurate.
On the other hand
, individuals are benefited from
technology
.
Computers
and
technology
make
people
more efficient and save
people
's
time
.
For example
, in the past, if
people
did
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research, they had to collect
information
, so they went to libraries and collected for a long
time
.
In contrast
, at present,
people
can collect the
information
easily and quickly.
In addition
, using
computers
in the academic field is convenient for some
people
,
such
as workers. If they want to acquire knowledge, but
due to
the
time
and location, they can not join courses. But now they can attend online courses, no matter the
time
and the location. In conclusion, there will be more and more technological applications in all fields of
people
's life. I believe that using
computers
and
technology
in education is positive for
people
.
However
,
people
have to control the negative results by building some regulations.
In contrast
, if
people
can use
technology
properly,
technology
will be a good friend for humans.
Submitted by Nini on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and a logical sequence. Use a range of linking phrases to show the relationships between ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should be clearly defined and effectively bookend the essay. The introduction should outline the main points to be discussed, while the conclusion should summarize those points and provide a final opinion.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with clear explanations, specific examples, and relevant details. Avoid making general statements without backing them up with concrete evidence or illustrations.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a personal opinion. Develop ideas fully and avoid repetition or irrelevant information to fulfill the task requirements.
task achievement
Present clear and comprehensive ideas that directly respond to the essay question. Use paragraphs effectively, each with a unique and clear topic that relates to the central argument of the essay.
task achievement
Use specific examples to illustrate your points and make your arguments more convincing. Ensure that examples are directly related to the point you are making and contribute to the overall argument of the essay.

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