Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

#people #effects #epidemic

Nowadays the number of overweight

people

is constantly increasing.

This

essay will discuss the main reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

epidemic and

then

describe the possible effects of the

problem

. In my opinion, the foremost causes of

obesity

are inactive lifestyle and unhealthy eating habits. Today more and more

people

rely on cars

instead

of walking, have

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

physical demands at work and prefer inactive leisure activities.

This

results

in burning

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

calories and gaining weight.

Moreover

, the

problem

is accentuated by the growing number of

people

, who eat irregularly and consume large portions of high-calorie food.

For example

, about 50% of the adult population in Europe with so-called disordered eating suffer from

obesity

. The possible effects of

this

problem

include physical health problems and loss of productivity. First of all,

obesity

results

in incorrect functioning of the human body and contributes to the risk of developing some chronic illnesses.

For example

, as body fat percentage increases, the person’s metabolism worsens, which in turn may result in diabetes or heart

diseases

Fix the agreement mistake

disease

show examples

Secondly

, overweight

people

are very unhealthy and often suffer from stress and tiredness.

This

lessens their work capacity and

results

in lower productivity.

For example

, it has been proven that an obese person needs to put more effort

to complete

Change preposition

into completing

show examples

some

task

Fix the agreement mistake

tasks

show examples

than a person with normal weight.

To sum up

obesity

is a big

problem

that affects a lot of

people

nowadays. It’s mainly caused by inactive

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

and eating disorders and

results

in severe health problems and loss of productivity. (251 words)

Submitted by lakshanichathuri896 on Tue Nov 28 2023

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logical structure

Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs more effectively.

supported main points

Elaborate on main points with more detailed examples and data to strengthen the argument.

complete response

Refine the response to cover all aspects of the task more completely and in greater detail.

clear comprehensive ideas

relevant specific examples

Incorporate more specific examples and evidence to substantiate the arguments presented in the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some children spend every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countriyside is decreasing. Do you think it is a positie or nagative development?

Write about the following topic. The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write about the following topic. Buying things online on the internet such as boo, air tickets and groceries is s becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of this way outweigh the disadvantages.