Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Agree that
work
in Replace the word
working
the
Correct article usage
a
country
where they get the
high skills is mandatory for highly trained people.
Correct article usage
apply
Forced that
skilled workers Wrong verb form
Forcing
stay
in the Fix the infinitive
to stay
country
that trained them helps to avoid lack
of skilled workers. Without Correct article usage
the lack
this
policy
many of them may move to another Add a comma
policy,
country
that pays better and offers a higher standard of living.
In many developing countries, there is a shortage of several professions like medical professionals
. So, as a solution of
Change preposition
to
this
problem is a requirement to serve in rural areas for a certain time. Because they have natural obligations to serve the nation that
spend a considerable amount of money and effort to educate and train them.
Disagree that Correct word choice
and
work
in Wrong verb form
working
the
Correct article usage
a
country
where they get the
highly trained is compulsory for Correct article usage
apply
high
skilled workers.
On the one hand, the freedom of Replace the word
highly
professionals
to work
in any country
believe that it allows for better
global exchange of knowledge and ideas. I Add an article
the better
a better
also
provides
Change the verb form
provide
professionals
with better career opportunities and the ability to work
in environments that may be more suited to their personal interest and needs.
In conclusion, while
some argue that professionals
should be free to work
in any country
they choose, I think that they should be required to work
in the country
where they completed their training. It can be solve
the shortage of skilled Change the verb form
solve
worker
, Fix the agreement mistake
workers
on the other hand
, can ensure that the country
which invested in its education and training receives a return on its investment.Submitted by kamashzhazira on
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coherence cohesion
The essay does not have a clear and logical structure. The introduction is missing a clear thesis statement, and the body paragraphs are not well-connected. There needs to be clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
There is an absence of a conclusion that summarises both sides of the argument and clearly states the writer's opinion. The conclusion should succinctly wrap up the discussion and restate the writer's position.
task achievement
Regarding task achievement, the essay provides a general response to the prompt, but the ideas are not fully developed or reflective of a balanced discussion. Both views should be discussed equally to fully satisfy the task requirements.
task achievement
The writing lacks clear and comprehensive ideas, and there is no evidence of counter-arguments or a balanced viewpoint. Aim for a more structured presentation of ideas, including a balanced discussion of both views before providing a reasoned conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay lacks relevant and specific examples to support the main points. Including real-life examples or hypothetical scenarios could strengthen the argument and provide concrete evidence for your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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