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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Conveninence foods will become increasingly prevalnet and eventually replace traditional foods and methods of prepration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#conveninence #foods #prevalnet #methods #prepration
Nowadays, processed
food
 is increasing widely
due to
 which some individuals believe that traditional cuisines and the way they get prepared will
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
 replaced by
conveninence
Correct your spelling
convenience
food
. I largely agree with
this
 statement.
Although
, people still believe in cultural
food
due to
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 freshness and authentic taste, effortless cooking and
easily
Change the word
easy
show examples
availablity
Correct your spelling
availability
 of
food
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 changing it. Not only traditional
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 is delicious, but
also
 it is healthy. Because fresh ingredients and
spicies
Correct your spelling
spices
species
 are get used in it
instead
 of
half cooked
Add a hyphen
half-cooked
show examples
 and preserved items and
this
 will enhance its taste.
In addition
, these fresh vegetables and fruits
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 a number of vitamins and minerals to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 body. But canned
food
 has
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of chemicals used
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to preserve that
food
, which causes different diseases.
This
 is why many individuals mainly from
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 still have homemade
food
 as it is more nutritious.
However
,
food
 that can be prepared quickly and easily is getting used because people have hectic schedules.
Due to
 the lack of time, it is not possible for them to cook dishes that consume
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of time.
For instance
, one is working for 10 hours and
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to take care of children and elders
while
 doing other household chores
then
 they get tired and prefer to eat frozen and precooked.
Moreover
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Youngsters and students who live overseas do not know the method of cultural cooking and
this
 is why they choose to have their meals from restaurants. In
this
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
conveninence
Correct your spelling
convenience
food
 is replacing traditional
food
.
To conclude
, I deem some people still opt for homemade
food
 because of fresh and nutritious ingredients but easily available and quickly prepared
food
 is replacing it day by day.
Submitted by 1234 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on developing clear topic sentences that directly respond to the task prompt, ensuring each paragraph focuses on a separate main idea.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing appropriately to organise ideas and arguments in a logical way.
coherence cohesion
Ensure introduction and conclusion succinctly address the task prompt, with the conclusion summarising the main points without introducing new ideas.
task achievement
Provide a complete response to the task, directly answering the question of to what extent you agree or disagree and elaborate on your points of view throughout the essay.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are expressed clearly and expanded upon comprehensively to demonstrate your ability to discuss issues in depth.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant examples that support your arguments, ideally ones that are more specific and detailed to effectively illustrate your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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