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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

How to prevent social media bullying? Problem sollution

#media #sollution
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It is undeniable that bullying in social media is one of the discussed issues nowadays.
Also
, big problems have arisen after them, in
essay
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an essay
the essay
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 I will give some solutions for
this
. The main problems that cause bullying are less
of
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apply
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internet security about confident information about the person and less control over children,
which are
Verb problem
who
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 use devices independently. It leads to using the data of individuals in
bullying
Correct article usage
a bullying
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 way or using it
like
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apply
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for something worse.
This
 accident was with my friend. 3 years ago someone manipulated my friend, about sharing his info and many of his photos and videos from his device. He paid them
big
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a big
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 salary to prevent
situation
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the situation
a situation
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. Not only my friend, but the whole world
face
Wrong verb form
is faced
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 with
this
 issue. It is important to pay more attention to
solve
Wrong verb form
solving
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this
 problem. One of the solutions to stop bullying is to improve the security of the devices. Meanwhile, governments should find adequate specialists that can prevent hack attacks from the other side.
In addition
, parents
also
 need to take part
to
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in
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 solving
this
 issue. Actually, they need to control their child from using dangerous sites. They must
looking
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look
be looking
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 through
for
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apply
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their children's monitors, to know more about what they do in their free time
of
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apply
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using
computer
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the computer
a computer
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. Because mostly children
do
Verb problem
are
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 and attached to bullying than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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adults.
To sum up
, all mentioned before, bullying
are
Change the verb form
is
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 the main problem
of
Change preposition
in
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 society.
Therefore
, the right actions by individuals must remove it in the near
Correct your spelling
future
futur
Correct your spelling
future
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a basic structure but lacks a clear introduction and adequate conclusion. Ensure that the introduction sets the context for the topic and highlights what will be discussed. The conclusion should not only summarize main points but also reinforce your overall viewpoint or suggest a clear outcome or solution.
coherence cohesion
While main points are somewhat supported, you can enhance the essay by using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively. This could include transitional phrases and a clearer outline of your arguments in each paragraph.
task achievement
The response to the task is visible, yet it requires a more complete and expanded set of ideas. Be sure to fully answer all parts of the prompt, elaborate on the solutions suggested, and directly connect them to the problem at hand. Offering deeper analysis and more developed arguments can significantly improve your score.
task achievement
Be sure to include relevant and specific examples to back up your points; your personal anecdote is a good start. However, additional examples or data can provide a more compelling argument and demonstrate a stronger grasp of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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