In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
At present, the life expectancy in many nations is increasing,
nevertheless
, some believe having a high percentage of the older generation is troublesome for the governing bodies,
since they can not be involved in the upliftment of the economy. Remove the comma
apply
However
, others say it is beneficial to possess them because elders
can maintain the cultural values of a country. In my opinion, the negativity on the economic balance with overcrowding of the older population
outweighs any possible advantages that they can give in terms of traditional integration, hence
it will be examined in this
essay.
On one hand, the existence of an ageing population
can make the economy of a country unstable as younger are the main workforce. Since,
they can not do a job, other family members have to nourish them, Remove the comma
apply
as a consequence
, financial problems might be caused in a family. Governments thus
, need to implement measures to overcome this
economic crisis by providing funds for elders
and it is an additional burden for the governing bodies to feed them. Hence
, this
economic instability of authorities overshadows any potential benefits.
On the flip hand, the most possible opportunity that the ageing population
provides is their involvement in maintaining and continuing of morals and ethics of the culture. Along with
their life experiences, elders
pass spiritual guidance and moral values to the younger generations , and as a result
, societies can continue their sustainability. For example
, my grandparents who lived with us were the pioneers in teaching me older traditions and religious stories of our country while
my parents were busy with their professional lives. But, this
same guidance can be provided by educational institutes such
as schools to the children, therefore
, this
positivity of having an older generation can be easily replaced by alternative measures.
In conclusion, the long life span of the population
of many countries today,
results in negativity that outweighs Remove the comma
apply
such
pressure on governments to cherish elders
since they are not capable of doing a job, nevertheless
today society does not need to rely on elders
' guidance in the maintenance of its cultural morals whereas
educational places can substitute such
issues.Submitted by tlakshani005 on
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coherence cohesion
Consider providing clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through the main points. Avoid making the structure repetitive and predictable.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the coherence by adding linking words and phrases to better connect the ideas within and across the paragraphs, creating a smoother reading experience.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a single, clear main idea supported by detailed examples. Avoid vague general statements.
task achievement
Address the task directly throughout the essay, ensuring that every paragraph contributes to answering the question. Avoid deviation from the core topic.
task achievement
Support your arguments with specific examples that are directly relevant to the question. When exemplifying, strive for clarity and direct links to the main idea of each paragraph.
task achievement
Carefully analyze the prompt and present a balanced argument for both sides, even when expressing a clear position. Weighing advantages against disadvantages thoroughly can demonstrate a full understanding of the task.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
