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Writing Samples
Band 3

The graph shows the percentage of female memebers of Rarliamental in European countries between 2000 and 2012

The graph shows the percentage of female memebers of Rarliamental in European countries between 2000 and 2012
The line graph demonstrates the women who worked as
a Parliamentary members
Correct the article-noun agreement
a Parliamentary member
Parliamentary members
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 in
European
Correct your spelling
Europe
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 in five countries between 2000 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 all the countries
took
Verb problem
had
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 different results,
however
Linking Words
, the German Parliamentary women decreased and took
second
Correct article usage
the second
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 level,
interestingly
Rephrase
apply
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 it had taken
first
Correct article usage
the first
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 level and underwent
Correct article usage
the worst
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worst
Correct word choice
worse
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 situations.
As well as
Linking Words
 the Italy female members increased very quickly and took first level.Another overarching feature from the graph is that the UK was the country with the smallest female members at the beginning,
however
Linking Words
, it saw the biggest increase over time,Interestingly France was eventually overtaken by Belgium

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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