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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the number of films produced by five countries in three years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of films produced by five countries in three years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#films #five #countries #three #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The chart below illustrates the information about the
number
 of
films
 had been produced by five countries in three years. As will be observed, in 2007,
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
films
 which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 been produced in
country
 A was the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
, with approximately ninety
films
. The amount of
films
 in
country
 B is not as impressive as the
country
 A, but still in
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 three countries with fifty
films
 were made in 2007. The third place
belong
Correct subject-verb agreement
belongs
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
country
 D, with only 15
films
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
made in 2007.
Next
Add a comma
Next,
show examples
 we can see
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
country
 C and
country
 E which
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the lowest
number
 of
films
 in 2007,
only
Change preposition
with only
show examples
 approximately ten
films
. In 2008,
country
 C started to become better when they produced more
films
 than before,
overcome
Wrong verb form
overcoming
show examples
country
 D and
country
 E. It is
surprised
Replace the word
surprising
show examples
 that in 2008, the amount of
films
 produced by
country
 d
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased, and
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the lowest in five
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
.
Country
 B has a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
 increase, with more than fifty
films
 a little bit. Only
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
country
 A still
maintain
Correct subject-verb agreement
maintains
show examples
 the form as in 2007. And in 2009, everything had changed. 2009 is the most successful of
country
 B
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when they hit seventy
films
, better than 2008
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
thirdty
Correct your spelling
thirty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The
number
 of
films
 in
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 C, D and
country
 E has
also
achieve
Verb problem
increased
show examples
 more than it was in 2008.
Country
 A, had a little decrease down to eighty
films
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
made in 2009, but still
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 the aim,
got
Correct word choice
and got
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first place in five countries.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 90%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, films, country with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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