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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the information about money spent in three European countries between 1960 and 2000

The graph below shows the information about money spent in three European countries between 1960 and 2000
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A glance at a line graph provided demonstrates the figure
about
Change preposition
for
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 the expenditure in three European countries, counted in
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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, from 1960 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, almost all data witnessed a recessive growth pattern, which is apart from the amount of clothing. In terms of the amount of food, in spite of being the highest at over 30 in 1960 before plunged
into
Change preposition
to
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 merely 15 after 4 decades. With respect to that of leisure, commencing from precisely 20 in 1960,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 plummeted to over 10 in 2000. As for the amount of clothing and transport,
although
Linking Words
 they had a homogeneous initial point at 10 in 1960. The former, which is the only one
observed
Correct pronoun usage
that observed
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 a progressive growth pattern, accelerated to exactly 15 in the final year. Meanwhile, the latter declined to accurately 5 after 40 years. With regard to that of energy, launching at precisely 5 before
slid
Wrong verb form
sliding
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 away to over 0
in
Change preposition
at
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 the
year
Change noun form
year's
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 end.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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