The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Newsport city centre from 2003-2012.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparations where relevant

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in  Newsport city centre from 2003-2012.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparations where relevant
The line graph given illustrates the changes that
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
in 3 specific districts of crime in the centre of
Newsport
Correct your spelling
Newport
city over the period of 2003 to 2012.
Overall
,
although
from the information that the chart above
provided
Add a comma
provided,
show examples
we can find that automobile
theft
and robbery had approximately a steady trend, burglary had a
considerably
Change the adverb
considerable
show examples
fluctuation.
To begin
with, the rate of
theft
from shops had a negligible rise from under 3500 to about 3700 in 2004, followed by a
markedly
Change the adverb
marked
show examples
slip to somewhere in the vicinity of 1200 in 2008,
then
steadily continued with a mere fluctuation under 1500 until 2012.
Moreover
, the number of car
theft
Fix the agreement mistake
thefts
show examples
with a steady trend was around 2700 in 2005,
then
it had a drop to around 2000 in 2006, followed by a negligible rise
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
2500 in 2012. The diagram shows that the
theft
from the person had a steady trend between 500 and 1000. In the end,
although
all of these 3 specific figures changed exponentially, car
theft
was the top
theft
at the end
of the graph.
Submitted by amirrezadelghandi3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words theft with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: