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Band 4.5

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007
#visitors #three #areas #european #country
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The line graph compares the places which
visited
Add a missing verb
were visited
show examples
 by overseas tourists in a European country over a period of
thirty-years
Correct your spelling
thirty years
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
sustainable changes
due to
Linking Words
 the coast and
the lakes visitors
Change to a genitive case
the lake's visitors
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the mountains,
in contrast
Linking Words
, show
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fewer. In 1987, 40
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
inhabitants decided to
chose
Change the verb
choose
show examples
 the coast as their destination,
while
Linking Words
 other areas showed approximately under
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of
this
Linking Words
 amount, 20 and 10
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
, respectively. The coast,
such
Linking Words
 as the most relevant area,
then
Linking Words
 declined
roughly
Change preposition
by roughly
show examples
 35
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
. Despite
this
Linking Words
, by 2007 it
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 shown a
rapidly
Change the word
rapid
show examples
 increase
up
Change preposition
of up
show examples
 to 75
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visitors. Meanwhile, there are prominent changes in the amount of people who
visited
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
 the lakes. By 2002
this
Linking Words
 choice
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 peaked from 10 to 75
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
, almost more than 700 per cent.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the trend shows
dramatic
Correct article usage
a dramatic
show examples
decrase
Correct your spelling
decrease
 till 2007. The mountains, in its turn, have
a steady changes
Correct the article-noun agreement
a steady change
steady changes
show examples
comapred
Correct your spelling
compared
 to others over the period given. By 2007, it ups from 20 to 35
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
.
Submitted by ielts8bandplus on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words thousands with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overseas visitors
  • number of
  • areas
  • European country
  • between
  • 1987 and 2000
  • graph
  • introduce
  • overview
  • trends
  • describe
  • analyze
  • compare and contrast
  • summarize
  • main findings
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