Some people say that the main environment problem of our time is the loss of particular of plants and animals.Others say that there are more important environmental problems.Discuss both these views and give your own options.
During recent decades, there have been a lot of debates over the issue of
extinction
of some plants or Correct article usage
the extinction
animals
. While
some people believe that this
is the worst environmental challenge we face, others declare that there are other problems which are far more considerable. In my opinion, every single issue should be taken into account in order to find a solution.
On the one hand, some environmental activists have maintained that the extinction of several plant or animal species must be addressed prior to other obstackles
. Correct your spelling
obstacles
Firstly
, they have argued that if crops become
Verb problem
apply
died
out, many unpredictable natural disasters we will face Wrong verb form
die
such
as horrible floods which, in turn, could devastate numerous residential areas. Secondly
, as many crops and animals
are the food for other predator species, their loss would put other animals
` lives at risk. Finally
, apart from feeding, humans use plenty of animals
so as to enhance their own quality of life. For example
, dogs, throughout the
history, have helped farmers to protect their families and Correct article usage
apply
sheeps
against wild predators Correct your spelling
sheep
such
as wolves. extinction of these animals
would have a negative impact on peasants` lives.
On the other hand
, many biologists have declared that although
the loss of particular plants and animals
is a major problem, it is not a priority whatsoever. It is noticeable that there is a range of environmental concerns which should be put under scrutiny such
as the hole of ozone
layer, acidic rains, and an increase in world temperature owing to Add an article
the ozone
ever-increasing
use of fuels. The hole Add an article
the ever-increasing
of
Change preposition
in
ozone
layer could let UV radiation reach Add an article
the ozone
to
the earth, which can lead to many diseases Change preposition
apply
such
as skin cancer. Moreover
, the
global warming could result in an increase in the levels of seas and oceans. Correct article usage
apply
this
phenomenon could lead to put
the lands under the water and Change the verb form
putting
this
threatens many species` lives such
as humans. These problems should quickly be addressed.
In conclusion, from my perspective, all environmental issues should be considered in order to be tackled as soon as possible. There
are all necessary and we cannot put one behind another.Correct pronoun usage
They
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. It's crucial that you structure your essay so that each point is elaborated upon sufficiently and linked back to the central argument of the essay. To improve, consider including clearer topic sentences for each paragraph and make sure that linking phrases are used to help guide the reader through your line of reasoning. Additionally, avoid abrupt transitions between ideas by building bridges using conjunctions and transitional phrases.
Task Achievement
Your essay meets the task by discussing both viewpoints and providing your own opinion, which is good. To elevate your score, ensure that your opinion is not only clear but also thoroughly explained and backed up with very specific and directly relevant examples. Your premises need to be explicitly linked to your conclusion. Further, try to cover all parts of the task equally to demonstrate a well-balanced consideration of the topic. Dedicating a more balanced portion of the essay to discussing each viewpoint can help with this.