Some people say that the main environment problem of our time is the loss of particular of plants and animals.Others say that there are more important environmental problems.Discuss both these views and give your own options.

During recent decades, there have been a lot of debates over the issue of
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
of some plants or
animals
.
While
some people believe that
this
is the worst environmental challenge we face, others declare that there are other problems which are far more considerable. In my opinion, every single issue should be taken into account in order to find a solution. On the one hand, some environmental activists have maintained that the extinction of several plant or animal species must be addressed prior to other
obstackles
Correct your spelling
obstacles
.
Firstly
, they have argued that if crops
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
died
Wrong verb form
die
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out, many unpredictable natural disasters we will face
such
as horrible floods which, in turn, could devastate numerous residential areas.
Secondly
, as many crops and
animals
are the food for other predator species, their loss would put other
animals
` lives at risk.
Finally
, apart from feeding, humans use plenty of
animals
so as to enhance their own quality of life.
For example
, dogs, throughout
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history, have helped farmers to protect their families and
sheeps
Correct your spelling
sheep
show examples
against wild predators
such
as wolves. extinction of these
animals
would have a negative impact on peasants` lives.
On the other hand
, many biologists have declared that
although
the loss of particular plants and
animals
is a major problem, it is not a priority whatsoever. It is noticeable that there is a range of environmental concerns which should be put under scrutiny
such
as the hole of
ozone
Add an article
the ozone
show examples
layer, acidic rains, and an increase in world temperature owing to
ever-increasing
Add an article
the ever-increasing
show examples
use of fuels. The hole
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
ozone
Add an article
the ozone
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layer could let UV radiation reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the earth, which can lead to many diseases
such
as skin cancer.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming could result in an increase in the levels of seas and oceans.
this
phenomenon could lead to
put
Change the verb form
putting
show examples
the lands under the water and
this
threatens many species` lives
such
as humans. These problems should quickly be addressed. In conclusion, from my perspective, all environmental issues should be considered in order to be tackled as soon as possible.
There
Correct pronoun usage
They
show examples
are all necessary and we cannot put one behind another.
Submitted by amirrezadelghandi3 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. It's crucial that you structure your essay so that each point is elaborated upon sufficiently and linked back to the central argument of the essay. To improve, consider including clearer topic sentences for each paragraph and make sure that linking phrases are used to help guide the reader through your line of reasoning. Additionally, avoid abrupt transitions between ideas by building bridges using conjunctions and transitional phrases.
Task Achievement
Your essay meets the task by discussing both viewpoints and providing your own opinion, which is good. To elevate your score, ensure that your opinion is not only clear but also thoroughly explained and backed up with very specific and directly relevant examples. Your premises need to be explicitly linked to your conclusion. Further, try to cover all parts of the task equally to demonstrate a well-balanced consideration of the topic. Dedicating a more balanced portion of the essay to discussing each viewpoint can help with this.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Biodiversity
  • Ecosystem
  • Extinction
  • Habitat destruction
  • Pollution
  • Climate change
  • Deforestation
  • Conservation
  • Preservation
  • Sustainable development
  • Balance
  • Interconnectedness
  • Ecological footprint
  • Global warming
  • Natural resources
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