IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Nowadays. More and more people decide to have children in their later life .what do you think are for this reasons. Do the advantages of the trend outweigh the disadvantages.

#people #children #life #trend
Majority of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
, more and more dwellers plan to have
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
 delay
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. It is easily seen that the financial burden is one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 why many spouses tend to
latter
Correct your spelling
later
show examples
 their childbirth because
birth
 early forces
then
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
 to tighten the budget. The advantages of
this
 trend outshine the disadvantages which I will
hashout
Correct your spelling
hash out
shout
 in the subsequent paragraphs. To embark upon, there are several merits of
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 notion. Predominantly, majority of
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
, individuals
are having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 their own problem children at the latter stages because of their financial
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
,career or professional pursuits and
certain
Change the word
certainly
show examples
 may follow their passions.
Firstly
, young
couples
 have
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
fanacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 resources
due to
 their
less
Fix the agreement mistake
low
show examples
 salaries. To elaborate more, they focus on their jobs or career making and even they do not have time for their family. To vindicate, in
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
 countries,
couples
 are working and trying to settle
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 their lives so they plan babies in mid 30s or 35s .
Moreover
, certain married
couples
 want to enjoy their life first like travelling ,
follow
Wrong verb form
following
show examples
 their passions and , if they settled in their life or career, they only plan their babies.
As a consequence
 , these are some reasons why married
couples
 choose not to have kids at
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 early age . Paradoxically, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a demerit of
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 trend. Chiefly, nowadays,
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 giving
birth
 later
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 related
decreasing
Change preposition
to decreasing
show examples
 fertility of both
couples
 so that ś why dwellers difficulties
conceivin
Correct your spelling
conceiving
conceived
 babies and pregnant women require special care. Some females
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
physical
Change the adjective
physically
show examples
 strong
to
Rephrase
enough to
show examples
 give
birth
 to a
child
 and
even
Rephrase
apply
show examples
many women
prone
Add a missing verb
are prone
show examples
 to death because of their lack of physical ability
give
Fix the infinitive
to give
show examples
birth
 to a
child
.
As a consequence
, they face a lot of difficulties
for survive
Change preposition
in surviving
show examples
 in
this
 world. to compendium,
although
, there are various merits of giving
birth
 to a
child
 ,a single demerit is more dangerous for both mother and
child
in
Correct word choice
and
show examples
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
same time leads to death. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 the advantages outshine the disadvantages.
Submitted by komalpreet4194 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that the ideas within each paragraph are logically ordered and connected with appropriate cohesive devices (e.g., linking words, pronouns, conjunctions). Avoid abrupt transitions and disjointed ideas.
coherence cohesion
Present a balanced discussion that addresses all parts of the task, providing an unbiased view of both sides followed by a reasoned conclusion. Introduce the topic fully and make sure the conclusion restates your main points and provides closure to the essay.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address the task prompt by developing ideas clearly and extending them with relevant examples. Avoid general statements and provide specific reasons or examples to support your answers.
task achievement
Work on grammatical range and accuracy, spelling, and punctuation to improve clarity and readability. Errors can detract from the overall presentation of your arguments and ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prioritization
  • financial stability
  • educational prospects
  • personal development
  • health advancements
  • fertility options
  • economic uncertainties
  • parenthood
  • societal norms
  • life experience
  • generational gap
  • upbringing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: