The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram illustrates how
sugar
is manufactured from
sugar
cane.
Overall
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sugar
production requires four main stages including farming, extracting, processing and drying. Looking at the farming and extracting stages,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
starts
Correct subject-verb agreement
start
show examples
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
planting
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
and growing
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
in 12 to 18 months.
Then
, they are harvested either by agricultural vehicles or by hand.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
the third stage,
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
passed into a crusher machine and
juice
is extracted.
Next,
the
juice
is introduced into a limestone filler to eliminate bad substances and become pure
juice
. Turning to the other stages, the pure
juice
is boiled at
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
temperature in an evaporator to remove water and condenses into syrup. In the next stage, the syrup is poured into a centrifuge and spun at high speed to detach
sugar
crystals from it.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
the final stage, the crystals are dried and cooled in a large container to produce finished
sugar
.
Submitted by tranbaongoc231007 on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, juice with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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