IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Students should be tought academic knowledge so that they can pass exams,and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be tought. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#students #tought #exams #skills
Nowadays, owing to
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 development era people should learn academic
skills
 rather than others
such
 as dressing and how to cook.I totally disagree with
this
 statement.
This
 essay will articulate the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 disagreement. On one hand, the major reason wolf why cooking and dressing
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 more popular and essential
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days. To be more précis, because of loving
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 and wonders of knowing other cultures
as well as
 studying abroad Presents
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
 to Learn cooking and dressing. The result of
leaning
Correct your spelling
learning
show examples
 these two
skills
 would be more useful for them.
For instance
, when people need academic university they will go abroad so they should have these
skills
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 cooking in order to save money and eat
a healthy food
Remove the article
healthy food
a portion of healthy food
show examples
. Switching to another point of why students need to study academic
koweledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
beside
Change preposition
besides
show examples
 cooking and dressing which is lack of
who
Correct word choice
how
show examples
 to dress other cultures. To illustrate communities need to know some recipes and
style
Fix the agreement mistake
styles
show examples
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
 of other countries in order to be ready
new
Change preposition
for new
show examples
 and prime life.
For example
, if younger people have abilities to cook and more awareness of other cultures
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they might
be have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a successful and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great future. In conclusion, it seems to me that because of travelling and
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 abroad
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
suppose
Wrong verb form
are supposed
show examples
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
to give the opportunities for students to learn other useful
skills
 like cooking and dressing.
Submitted by fatima1173 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Task Response: Ensure your essay directly answers the question asked. In your response, you did not fully address the extent to which you agree or disagree, as the question requested. Provide more direct opinions and clearly address both views (the importance of academic skills for exams and the value of practical skills like cooking and dressing).
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Your essay should have a clear logical structure with well-developed paragraphs. Each paragraph must have a clear main idea and the ideas must be logically ordered. Use cohesive devices appropriately to link ideas between and within paragraphs. Avoid repeating phrases and ensure pronouns refer clearly to nouns.
Task Achievement
Task Achievement: Expand on the supporting details for your main points. Provide specific examples and explanations to demonstrate how practical skills can complement academic learning. Address the prompt more directly by discussing how academic and practical skills can be balanced in the curriculum.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: