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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same thing and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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A group of individuals presents the view that it can be better to avoid
change
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 in our lives,
whereas
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 others believe that
change
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 can bring unique opportunities. I strongly agree with the latter opinion, and the reasons will be outlined. On the one hand, some
people
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 justifiably argue that if we want to improve our standards of living,
change
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 is inevitable.
According to
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 their opinion,
people
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 who experience various situations and are open to
change
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 are more likely to become successful.
For instance
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, from an economic point of view, leaving a dead-end job that does not match their interests,
people
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 may find a lucrative career that gives them a sense of satisfaction. In
this
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 regard, I have been working in a company as an employee for two years.
However
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, it did not meet my expectations because I used to get stuck behind the desk the whole day with several tedious responsibilities. If I had not quit, I would not have been recruited as an engineer.
On the other hand
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, another group claims that incorporating new things into our daily routines can be problematic. They insist that if
people
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 want to be on the safe side, avoiding
change
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 is a wise decision. In
this
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 regard, they maintain that those who decide to
change
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 their job are less likely to get a raise or promotion compared with long-term employees.
However
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, I do not find
this
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 argument convincing, as a new career can open the doors to better future prospects because leaving an unpleasant job in search of a decent one that aligns with one's talents can lead to several positive side effects,
such
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 as expanding soft skills like interpersonal skills.
Moreover
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, interested
people
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 do their best to work efficiently;
therefore
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, they will benefit from a well-paid salary in the long run.
To conclude
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, in my view,
people
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 should be aware that
change
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 can be beneficial in several terms
such
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 as finding better employment possibilities or learning necessary skills.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay in a logical order to enhance readability. Adequate use of connectors and paragraphing has been noticed, however, further refinement in connecting ideas will enhance the overall cohesion and coherence.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve clarity and progression of ideas, attempt to smoothly transition between points and paragraphs without abrupt changes or contradictions in the argument flow.
Task Achievement
You've fully addressed the task requirements with a clear position throughout the essay. To elevate your score, ensure that each main point is well-elaborated and developed with clear examples to support your statements.
Task Achievement
While examples provided do support the arguments, strive to incorporate more relevant and specific examples to strengthen and illustrate your key points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
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