IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more people no longer read newspapers or watch TV programs to get news. They get news about the world through the internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

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Over a decade, the ways people used to stay up-to-date have dramatically changed, resulting in the rising neglect of other forms of
media
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such
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 as newspapers, magazines, or even books
as well as
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news
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 on television. From my perspective,
this
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 transformation can be considered beneficial and environmental care. In
this
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 essay, I will elaborate more on my statements and discuss both perspectives
To begin
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 with, reading online
news
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 is far more convenient and affordable.
For example
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, as the
internet
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 these days can be approachable from the four corners of the world, it means that everyone can read articles at any time for free.
Moreover
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, digital
news
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 is far more updated since it can be uploaded and edited on the
internet
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 after that situation
happened
Wrong verb form
happens
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 right away, unlike the traditional ways that have to be approved first before they can be published. Apart from the convenience and the price,
this
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 shift reduces paper used in the production to produce physical forms of
media
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 as well.
Nevertheless
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, it is
also
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 essential to acknowledge the negative aftermaths caused by consuming online
media
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. First of all, the fact that there is a number of fake
news
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 on the
internet
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 is undeniable which can lead to misunderstandings and discordances among the society.
Secondly
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, the more people spend their time on social
media
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, the higher
possibility
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the possibility
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 they tend to have social addiction.
For instance
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, excessively consuming digital
news
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 induces either emotional issues or health problems later.
To conclude
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, despite the drawbacks incurred by surfing the
internet
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 to be informed, it is still a useful method to quickly access the latest information from anywhere and is more eco-friendly than traditional methods.
Hence
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, I personally deem that
this
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 change in behaviour is favourable.

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Coherence Cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs are clearly linked with effective use of cohesive devices, such as transition words and topic sentences, to enhance the flow of ideas.
Coherence Cohesion
Always begin with a strong introduction that outlines the essay's direction, and conclude with a summary that reinforces the main points made.
Coherence Cohesion
Each paragraph should have a clear main point that is thoroughly explained and supported by specific examples or evidence.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task, making sure to give a balanced view and provide specific details or examples to support your arguments.
Task Achievement
Ideas should be expressed clearly and developed comprehensively. Avoid superficial or underdeveloped points.
Task Achievement
Incorporate a range of relevant, specific examples to substantiate arguments, avoiding vague or generalized statements.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • real-time updates
  • diverse perspectives
  • user engagement
  • interactivity
  • subscription
  • traditional media
  • fake news
  • misinformation
  • deforestation
  • customization
  • social isolation
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