IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people today are worried about ‘cybercrime ’such as hacking and identity theft. What problems does ‘cybercrime’ cause, and what solutions can you suggest for ordinary people and businesses to take? Give reasons for your answer, and provide ideas and examples from your own experience.

#people #‘cybercrime #’such #identity #theft #‘cybercrime’ #businesses
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Cybercrime
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 is the most sensitive issue for a large number of people these days.
Although
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cybercrime
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 can sprout multiple problems, careful approaches can solve these issues. Primarily, the first and foremost intricacy is the
loss
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 of private
information
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.
This
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 is because online websites store individual
information
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 which could be tracked easily by hackers.
This
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 tracked
information
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such
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 as bank account details, personal contacts and other private data could be misused, leading to other crimes like trafficking and blackmailing.
Consequently
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, it results
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
mental
Correct article usage
the mental
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 stress of being deceived.
However
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, to counter
this
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 problem,
public
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the public
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 should get some insight
about
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into
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 the authenticity before filling
their
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in their
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 personal
information
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 on any website.
This
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 awareness may reduce the problem to a large extent. Another problem
due to
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cybercrime
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 is the financial
loss
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. To specify, unauthorised transactions from bank accounts may lead to
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loss
Correct article usage
the loss
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 of a large sum of money as hackers can decode the weak passwords set to operate these accounts. Even if the company give remuneration for their customers' monetary losses, the financial sectors are
effected
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affected
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 badly. To address
this
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 issue, robust security devices should be installed by the companies to track any suspected activity.
For example
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, the online application of Axis Bank in India
ask
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asks
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 for
the
Correct article usage
a
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 one-time password which is sent to
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 contact number and
need
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needs
show examples
 permission to tap yes on the mobile. In
this
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 way,
double
Correct article usage
a double
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 security system could be used to halt the illegal invasion of intruders. In conclusion, several people
tense
Add a missing verb
are tense
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 about
cybercrime
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 since it renders some problems in the form of
loss
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 of personal data and
monatery
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monetary
monastery
 savings;
however
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, it could be encountered by creating awareness among
public
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the public
show examples
 and installing security gadgets on mobile phones
as well as
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 on companies' computer systems.
Submitted by immysandhu94 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to make the essay more engaging.
task achievement
Good use of examples to support points, particularly the Axis Bank example.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion that frame the essay well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • phishing
  • malware
  • ransomware
  • data breach
  • two-factor authentication
  • encryption
  • firewall
  • cybersecurity
  • identity theft
  • financial fraud
  • reputation management
  • vulnerabilities
  • patch management
  • cyber hygiene
  • regulatory compliance
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