IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph shows the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016.

The line graph shows the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph provides details about the number of
patients
Use synonyms
 in birth control, eye, diabetic, and dental clinics in a hospital from 2010 to 2016, measured in numbers.
Overall
Linking Words
, eye and diabetic centres had the tendency to increase from time to time,
while
Linking Words
 birth control and dental clinics tended to fluctuate.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the visitors of to the eye centre was around 125 at the beginning of the reporting period before moderately increasing to 150 in the next two
years
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 2014 and 2016, the
patients
Use synonyms
 leveraged by 100 annually.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the diabetic clinic consistently accounted for less than a hundred
patients
Use synonyms
 from 2010 to 2014,
however
Linking Words
, the figure spiked to approximately 175 in the year 2016.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, despite a moderate rise of around 25
patients
Use synonyms
 from
initially
Linking Words
 almost 250 visitors in 2012 and a significant increase in 2016 which equalized the final number to the initial figure, the birth control service had experienced a dramatic drop from 275
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2012 to 175 in the following two
years
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, apart from a 50 drop in the first two
years
Use synonyms
, the number of people who visited dental care in the hospital rose from 50 in 2012 to 125 in the next four
years
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words patients, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "moderately" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: