IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph shows the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016.

The line graph shows the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016.
#line #patients #four #clinics
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The line graph provides details about the number of
patients
Use synonyms
 in birth control, eye, diabetic, and dental clinics in a hospital from 2010 to 2016, measured in numbers.
Overall
Linking Words
, eye and diabetic centres had the tendency to increase from time to time,
while
Linking Words
 birth control and dental clinics tended to fluctuate.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the visitors of to the eye centre was around 125 at the beginning of the reporting period before moderately increasing to 150 in the next two
years
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 2014 and 2016, the
patients
Use synonyms
 leveraged by 100 annually.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the diabetic clinic consistently accounted for less than a hundred
patients
Use synonyms
 from 2010 to 2014,
however
Linking Words
, the figure spiked to approximately 175 in the year 2016.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, despite a moderate rise of around 25
patients
Use synonyms
 from
initially
Linking Words
 almost 250 visitors in 2012 and a significant increase in 2016 which equalized the final number to the initial figure, the birth control service had experienced a dramatic drop from 275
in
Change preposition
apply
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2012 to 175 in the following two
years
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, apart from a 50 drop in the first two
years
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, the number of people who visited dental care in the hospital rose from 50 in 2012 to 125 in the next four
years
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dandelionandburdock on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words patients, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moderately" was used 2 times.
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