IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays more and more people have access to the Internet. But constant availability of any information worsens people's memory and critical thinking skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the present time, the opportunity of having any sort of data at the tip of our fingertips can
unable
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enable
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 us to conceive new ideas or to store information in our brail, yet web searching has
also
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 supplied us with
creativeness
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creativity
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 and knowledge that, in the absence of search engines
such
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 as
google
Capitalize word
Google
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, we would not reveal. On the one hand, the ease with which people can rely on computers to remember things has increased
overtime
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over time
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. On top of that, new technological developments closely related to the internet
such
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 as artificial intelligence have given us powerful tools that can pretty much replace people’s ability to analyze and think.
For instance
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, the simplest task of composing a work email could be done by these types of engines. The fact is that,
nowaday
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nowadays
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 it seems that anything that a human being could possibly envision, there is a high chance a computer had thought of that before you even tried to develop it.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if we did not have
accessibility
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access
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 to a laptop or a phone with web connectivity, we would not be able to reach inspirational social websites
such
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 as Pinterest. For the most part, excess images, texts and videos appear to be altering the form we create, analyze and design things in the real world.
However
Linking Words
, webpages that encourage inspiration and innovation, namely Pinterest and We Heart
it
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It
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, have provided us with highly original ingenuity to develop ideas on our own.
In other words
Linking Words
, the latter created and posted a tremendous amount of photos, videos and tutorials from which we can
therefore
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 combine or use to get inspired. In conclusion, even though information technology
appeared
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appears
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 to be replacing our
mind
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minds
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 and brains, there is a possibility to use the internet in our
favor
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favour
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 and uplift our imagination.

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coherence cohesion
Although there is an attempt to structure the essay, sentences are often unclear and there is an unnecessary complexity in language use, which hinders understanding. Simplify sentence structures and ensure each point is clearly and directly expressed.
coherence cohesion
There is room for improvement in the introduction and conclusion, as they should provide a clear statement on your stance related to the prompt and not just restate the topic. Work on creating a stronger, more defined thesis statement and summary.
coherence cohesion
Supporting main points with relevant examples is done well, but these points need to be more cohesive and logically structured throughout the paragraphs. Make sure each idea naturally transitions to the next.
task achievement
The response to the task is somewhat complete, but it is often difficult to discern a clear and directly relevant argument in relation to the prompt. Ensure that the ideas are directly addressing the prompt rather than just discussing Internet usage generally.
task achievement
Ideas need to be articulated with greater clarity and detail, with a more comprehensive development of how these ideas relate to the topic. Avoid general statements without proper explanation or linkage to the topic.
task achievement
Examples are specific and relevant, which enhances the task achievement score. Continue to provide concrete examples to support your points, but also ensure that they are adequately explained and tied back to your main argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • diminishes
  • shallow processing
  • critical evaluation
  • misinformation
  • unprecedented
  • discerningly
  • intellectual laziness
  • interactive content
  • problem-solving
  • actively engaged
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