IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people say government should give health care the first priorities, some others believe education is more important priorities to spend the taxpayers' money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In
Linking Words
Correct determiner usage
these
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 modern times, the issue of health care has become
higly
Correct your spelling
highly
 controversial. There are those who
said
Wrong verb form
say
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 that
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should
invested
Change the verb form
invest
be invested
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 in
health
Correct article usage
the health
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 sectors, howevere
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 believe that learning is key to
succes
Correct your spelling
success
. In
this
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
essay
eassy
Add a comma
eassy,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will explain both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
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 of
Correct article usage
the argumets
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argumets
Correct your spelling
argument
 and provide
overall
Linking Words
 my opinion. Generally speaking, there is a number of reason why people believe that health care is very crucial. Perhaps the main reason why people are in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
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 of well-being
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 population equals a productive workforce.
For example
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, if individuals do not get proper
tratment
Correct your spelling
treatment
 because of illness that will be impact directly in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic growth.
Finally
Linking Words
, governments should
Add a missing verb
be responsibility
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responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
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to ensure
Change preposition
for ensuring
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that
Correct word choice
apply
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every
citizens
Change to a singular noun
citizen
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 well being. Despite the arguments, there is
also
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 a cause for the idea that spending money on
education
Use synonyms
 will help in the development of the country.
For instance
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, when the government focuses on children's
education
Use synonyms
, the resulting generation will work hard in building the country and work in various areas
such
Linking Words
 as engineering and technology.
As
Correct word choice
Education
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 is the main cause of development in any nation. In conclusion,
healt
Correct your spelling
health
 and
education
Use synonyms
 are a topic which raises strong passions on both sides of the argument. Is me personal view is that healthy individuals can perform better in educational settings, and educated individuals can make better health-related choices.

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structure
Please ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should introduce the topic and state the thesis. Body paragraphs should discuss each view and your opinion separately. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your opinion.
logic and flow
Focus on the logical flow of ideas from one paragraph to another. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and be linked to the overall thesis through cohesive devices. Avoid abrupt transitions and make sure the reader can follow the argument.
development and support
Provide clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Your main points need to be supported by relevant examples or arguments. Consider elaborating the reasons behind each view rather than just stating them, and include specific, detailed examples to substantiate your points.
task response
Make sure to fully address the task by discussing both views presented in the prompt and providing your own opinion. Be clear and comprehensive in presenting ideas. Ensure that your opinion is stated clearly and developed throughout the essay, not just at the end.
language
Check your writing for grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary. Make use of complex sentence structures, but ensure they are used correctly. Proofread to correct spelling errors ('higly' should be 'highly', 'invested' should be 'invest', 'tratment' should be 'treatment').

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Universal healthcare
  • Preventative measures
  • Productivity
  • Innovation
  • Economic prosperity
  • Alleviate
  • Resource allocation
  • Public-private partnerships
  • Informed electorate
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Primary education
  • Higher education
  • Life expectancy
  • Civic engagement
  • Sustainable development
What to do next:
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