IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is believed that unsalaried community servants ought to be an obligatory sector of secondary school timetables. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement for several rational reasons which I will argue in
this
Linking Words
 essay. In my opinion, the idea of compulsory community service isn'
t
Use synonyms
 beneficial
due to
Linking Words
 a number of causes.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, students don'
t
Use synonyms
 have enough time to allocate for it as they have a heavy and full timetable.
For example
Linking Words
, I reminisce that when I was a student, we were under the tension of academic lessons
such
Linking Words
 as
mathematic
Replace the word
mathematics
show examples
, biology, and chemistry.
Thus
Linking Words
, we weren'
t
Use synonyms
 able to do any extra activity during that period.
Secondly
Linking Words
, pupils are reluctant to do these kinds of jobs without any rewards and completely complimentary.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they don'
t
Use synonyms
 have strong enthusiasm and motivation to perform well.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, voluntary activities have influenced students' lives positively as they can expand their horizons. One of the prominent impacts is that children can gain more experience and detect their interests through these optional careers, so their resumes have been sharpened.
Thus
Linking Words
, their chance of being employed in a good company will rise
due to
Linking Words
 these days, finding a decent occupation is hard and the majority of individuals are in competition.
In addition
Linking Words
, their social skills like communicating with diverse people, and conducting teamwork with others who have different backgrounds and knowledge will grow in them.
For instance
Linking Words
, When I was a student, I took part voluntarily in a photography studio which has brought me numerous benefits. In conclusion, mandatory community
servant
Replace the word
service
show examples
 shouldn’
t
Use synonyms
 be regarded in the school curriculum as pupils don'
t
Use synonyms
 have time to do them and they should focus on their academic lectures and they aren'
t
Use synonyms
 willing to work without any wage.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if people do voluntary activities, they will help them achieve more career opportunities and interpersonal skills.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main body paragraph clearly presents and elaborates on a single central idea. Avoid overloading paragraphs with multiple concepts that may dilute the clarity of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on the transition between ideas and paragraphs. Employ a variety of cohesive devices and discourse markers to enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Expand on your examples to illustrate your points more effectively. Specific and detailed examples will strengthen your argument and demonstrate a clearer understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure your essay directly addresses the prompt throughout. Each paragraph should contribute to a fuller understanding of your position relative to the task question, leaving no ambiguity about your stance.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: