Some people believe that modern technology is increasing gap between rich and poor. Discuss both views and your opinion.

#people #technology #gap

Technology plays a

crusial

Correct your spelling

crucial

role in

moder

Correct your spelling

modern

society. Some believe that

with

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apply

show examples

the high cost

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show examples

tech products

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

it quite challenging for poor communities to afford

thee

Correct your spelling

these

show examples

devices exacerbating wealth inequality,

while

others think the opposite.

This

essay will explore both views

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and provide my opinion

at the end

To begin

with, people who live in less developed conditions struggle to afford sophisticated modern devices, as they lack financial

stabilities

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stability

show examples

Hence

, it is problematic for them to keep up with the latest computer models,

Correct word choice

and exploring

show examples

exploring

Wrong verb form

explore

show examples

new technological advances.

For instance

, the recent introduction of

carbon

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the carbon

show examples

"iPhone" is almost three times more

expansive

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expensive

show examples

than other standard phones with basic functions.

However

high

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the high

show examples

price is a minor issue compared to the variety of benefits technologies provide.

On the other hand

, inclusive access to

technologies

Fix the agreement mistake

technology

show examples

removes the barrier between

wealthu

Correct your spelling

wealthy

wealth

and poor societies, as they both have a great possibility to explore online platforms. These

platfroms

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platforms

offer a wide variety of educational services and resources for free or a minimal fee, which

help

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helps

show examples

individuals to stay informed and updated. Take "The Guardian" online magazine,

for example

, which

offer

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offers

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a broad range of local news, historical

articals

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articles

and political debates, intriguing and educating readers,

not

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show examples

matter how wealthy they are.

Moreover

, digital literacy contributes to global connectivity, providing cross-cultural understanding. In conclusion, even though it becomes hard for some poor societies to purchase modern high-price products,

this

does not

exlude

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exclude

them from

the

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apply

show examples

receiving information and staying connected with the world's news. From my perspective, digital

techonologies

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technologies

do not separate but unite individuals from different

economical

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economic

show examples

backgrounds by offering online literacy and social platforms for communication and connection with others.

Submitted by innakireeva0101 on Wed Nov 29 2023

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coherence cohesion

While your essay demonstrates a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, there is room for improvement in the development of ideas and examples. Each main point should be more thoroughly supported by specific, relevant examples and explanations. Be cautious not to generalize; instead, reinforce your points with concrete evidence.

task achievement

Your essay addressed the task by discussing both views and providing an opinion. However, the treatment of the task would benefit from a clearer articulation of these views, with more comprehensive development of ideas and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. Remember to avoid broad statements by backing up claims or viewpoints with specific, illustrative details.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

socio-economic status
wealth inequality
infrastructure
tech-enhanced learning
automate
low-skill jobs
digital platforms
mobile banking
financial services
e-commerce
democratizing
marginalized
public-private partnerships
digital literacy
social entrepreneurs

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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Topic: New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages

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Technology like AI and Robotics are automating many human jobs and helping maximize company profits. However, this may result in a new wave of mass unemployment and the Government should step in to regulate these fields. Discuss both sides of this argument.