In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?
in some industries, many
people
try to work harder than others. In my opinion, this
is because the world has become competitive, and many people
want to be successful in their lives, nevertheless
, I believe that being a hard-working person is a good habit.
Firstly
, the competition qualities nowadays has
become higher which makes the challenging between Change the verb form
have
people
more difficult. Because of this
, many people
try to do their best to win these competitions. For example
, many employers who work at companies work harder than their co-workers which would give them the chance to get a promotion and provide them a higher salary. Hence
, it is a
kind of challenging Correct article usage
apply
to
them to win these competitions.
Another reason is that many individuals seek to be successful Change preposition
for
people
in their lives, this
can be
happen Unnecessary verb
apply
by
many ways. Change preposition
in
However
, working hard is the only common way
which has an obvious effect. For instance
, some school or universities
students try to do their best in studying and exploit their knowledge to improve themselves. Change the noun form
university
Therefore
, successful people
have the opportunity to change their life styles
in a better Correct your spelling
lifestyles
way
.
Finally
, I consider that working hard is a good way
to show the real person's abilities. Moreover
,it is a good way
for people
who want to make their goals real. Working hard is a good habit which could avoid
Verb problem
prevent
people
from regret if they couldn't
Wrong verb form
can't
do
the expected results. To illustrate, if someone had worked hard for an exam, but he or she did not Verb problem
achieve
got
the expected results, Working hard would not make him Change the verb form
get
regret
.
Correct pronoun usage
regret it
To sum up
, as I maintained before, working hard is a good way
which can provide many benefits for people
, and it could change their life styles
.Correct your spelling
lifestyles
Submitted by s_syedy on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure that your answer fully addresses all parts of the prompt. While you provided a perspective on why some people work harder and whether it is a good thing, more depth and detail could improve completeness. Include a balanced discussion on whether hard work is always positive, considering potential negative aspects as well.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on clearer and more logical organization of ideas. Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas effectively. Try to establish clear relationships between paragraphs and sentences within them. Avoid repetition of ideas and maintain a consistent flow throughout the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!