Children at secondary school are often taken on visits to museums, zoo and concerts and sometimes even to other countries. What do you think the advantages and disadvantages of such visits are?
Many secondary educational institutes organize trips for their pupils
in
Change preposition
to
the
places that are not restricted to artistic domains and Correct article usage
apply
also
include visiting animal kingdom parks. This
essay discusses the potential merits and demerits of such
development.
The major benefit of this
trend includes an increased awareness about animal conversation and of our culture and traditions. While
watching the rare species of animals in zoos quench the thirst of curiosity, many students also
get inspired to abstain from using animal products after learning about their importance in our ecosystem. This
comes into effect by virtue of their intrigue to know more about those animals by looking up for more information on the internet that also
educate
them about their diminishing numbers. Correct subject-verb agreement
educates
Similarly
, the organized tours in museums and art galleries enhance their knowledge about the traditional and contemporary artworks, which is panacea
for our dilapidating traditional and social values.
Add an article
a panacea
the panacea
However
, I would also
argue that regular engagement in extra curricular
activities Correct your spelling
extracurricular
have
some drawbacks as well. First of all, it can be disruptive for the studies which Change the verb form
has
necessatitates
Correct your spelling
necessitates
outmost
focus on the school curricula. Correct your spelling
utmost
For example
, the pursuit of non-scholatic enlightenment means that the more time students spend on this
, the lesser
time will be available for completing homework. Correct word choice
less
Secondly
, employability and rendering competent
workforce for the job market are the imperative goals of schools; spending both Correct article usage
a competent
the
time and resources on activities beyond Correct article usage
apply
the
education defeats the purpose of the establishment of Correct article usage
apply
education
system.
In conclusion, museums, art galleries and zoos serve an important role by demonstrating the need Correct article usage
an education
of advocating
for protecting the rare animal
species , and alongside Change preposition
to advocate
this
, help adolescents to stay connected with our old societal values and moral code. However
, this
could also
have repercussions on the individual's learning of main
subjects of and Correct article usage
the main
economy
of a nation alike.Correct article usage
the economy
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introduction conclusion present
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logical structure
Work on developing a more cohesive structure with clear, logical progression between sentences and paragraphs.
supported main points
Make sure main points are always supported with relevant, specific examples to strengthen arguments and demonstrate understanding of the topic.
complete response
Address the task in a more comprehensive manner by discussing both advantages and disadvantages equally and making sure to cover all aspects of the prompt.
clear comprehensive ideas
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relevant specific examples
Include more examples that are directly relevant and specific to the essay topic to better support statements and perspectives.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.