Children at secondary school are often taken on visits to museums, zoo and concerts and sometimes even to other countries. What do you think the advantages and disadvantages of such visits are?

#children #school #visits #museums #zoo #concerts #countries

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Many secondary educational institutes organize trips for their pupils

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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places that are not restricted to artistic domains and

also

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include visiting animal kingdom parks.

This

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essay discusses the potential merits and demerits of

such

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development. The major benefit of

this

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trend includes an increased awareness about animal conversation and of our culture and traditions.

While

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watching the rare species of animals in zoos quench the thirst of curiosity, many students

also

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get inspired to abstain from using animal products after learning about their importance in our ecosystem.

This

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comes into effect by virtue of their intrigue to know more about those animals by looking up for more information on the internet that

also

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educate

Correct subject-verb agreement

educates

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them about their diminishing numbers.

Similarly

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, the organized tours in museums and art galleries enhance their knowledge about the traditional and contemporary artworks, which is

panacea

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a panacea

the panacea

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for our dilapidating traditional and social values.

However

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, I would

also

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argue that regular engagement in

extra curricular

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extracurricular

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activities

have

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has

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some drawbacks as well. First of all, it can be disruptive for the studies which

necessatitates

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necessitates

outmost

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utmost

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focus on the school curricula.

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, the pursuit of non-scholatic enlightenment means that the more time students spend on

this

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, the

lesser

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less

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time will be available for completing homework.

Secondly

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, employability and rendering

competent

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a competent

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workforce for the job market are the imperative goals of schools; spending both

the

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apply

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time and resources on activities beyond

the

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apply

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education defeats the purpose of the establishment of

education

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an education

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system. In conclusion, museums, art galleries and zoos serve an important role by demonstrating the need

of advocating

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to advocate

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for protecting the rare animal species , and alongside

this

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, help adolescents to stay connected with our old societal values and moral code.

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this

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could

also

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have repercussions on the individual's learning of

main

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the main

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subjects of and

economy

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the economy

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of a nation alike.

Submitted by rohit.narad90 on Thu Nov 30 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure a clear and concise introduction that presents the topic effectively and sets the stage for the arguments to follow.

logical structure

Work on developing a more cohesive structure with clear, logical progression between sentences and paragraphs.

supported main points

Make sure main points are always supported with relevant, specific examples to strengthen arguments and demonstrate understanding of the topic.

complete response

Address the task in a more comprehensive manner by discussing both advantages and disadvantages equally and making sure to cover all aspects of the prompt.

clear comprehensive ideas

Ideas should be articulated more clearly, with a comprehensive explanation of each point to enhance understanding.

relevant specific examples

Include more examples that are directly relevant and specific to the essay topic to better support statements and perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

broadens perspective
culture
curriculum
interactive
retain information
subject matter
promote
social skills
teamwork
communication
fosters
meticulously
safety risks
financial strain
disruptions
compression
exclude

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Children at secondary school are often taken on visits to museums, zoo and concerts and sometimes even to other countries. What do you think the advantages and disadvantages of such visits are?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible solutions?

Some people say that the computer is an integral part of modern education. Everything can be taught and learnt better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that playing games can be bad for children. Others say that playing computer games can have positive effects on the way children develop. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

in some coutries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. to what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Other say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.